A few weeks back when we were travelling on the highway from Belize City to Belmopan, this is what happened:
Sharp Eyes.
Gnome: Oooooh look…broom corn!
This picture makes it look deceptively big but when you are travelling in a vehicle at 110kph, everything looks green and blurry. Gnome managed to spot a wild edible with his sharp eyes! This is also funny because he has recently complained of eyesight problems and thinks that he requires a new prescription for his spectacles. Anyway, he screeched to a halt and then did a U-turn to bring us back round to the corn. I didn’t get a chance to say anything, because it all happened so quickly.
He jumped out of the car to grab a specimen for seeds.
Broom Corn.
In the usual Gnome style, he attemped to procure a plant to take back to the farm. You can just imagine what all the drivers were thinking as they zoomed by on the highway, catching a glimpse of Gnome on his hands and knees, digging a plant out from the ground!
Pulling Up Broom Corn.
Broom corn is Sorghum bicolor and is also commonly known as sorghum. It is a grass species which is cultivated for its grain. The grain can be used to make breads and can be popped like “pop-corn.” In large scale cultivation, it can be a source of ethanol fuel and sorghum syrup. Also, you can make brooms out of them hence the popular name. It can be used to feed animals and guinea pigs are rather fond of this type of grass.
Well, in our usual Munchkin and Gnome Style, we were both rather chuffed with ourselves for finding such a useful plant on the highway in Belize. It just goes to show that you need to be on the look out all the time if you are a serious forager!! Just drive safely while you do it!
I was harvesting bird chilli peppers today to dry out in the sun. It is hot and dry again. These come up as voluntary plants everywhere because the birds eat them and poop the seeds out. I like these chilli peppers so I usually let these plants come up opportunistically; these plants can grow into considerable bushes and I have at least a dozen of them scattered around the yard.
Bird Chilli Pepper.
Well, the running joke, on the farm, is that the birds get them all because I never actually get round to harvesting any of them. Gnome says that one day when we finally have our 4 and 20 blackbird pie, they will be very hot and spicy!
In order to put an end to the joke (it is after all at my expense) I took the time to pick some of the peppers; I probably picked close to 1000 and that wasn’t even half of them!
Whilst I was picking them, I realised that all the Munchkin jobs involved food in some way or another. On the farm, I am in charge of food harvesting, preservation, preparation and cooking. It is quite a job because it is ongoing and if you slack off, fruit and vegetables get wasted and fall to the ground.
Yesterday, I prepared another jackfruit “baby”…believe me, this is no mean feat when you have to wrestle with such a heavy fruit with all the latex and goo sticking onto the knife and hands! The jackfruit dried beautifully into very sweet, aromatic chips.
Jackfruit Baby.
More Munchkin jobs coming up:
Picking of Chinese Jujube; these are green fruit about the size of small plums. When they turn yellow-green, they are ready to pick and at this point, have the consistency and crispness of Granny Smith apples. When they are fully mature, they actually turn red and shrivel up like prunes. This is a version of the Chinese red date, which can be purchased at Chinese supermarkets. This year I will have my own to cook in savoury and sweet soups.
Bamboo Shoot Starting.
Oh, and yes we have bamboo shoots coming up. These will be ready in about a week. It sounds like fun when you are reading it off my blog but in actual fact, it is a whole sweaty morning of cutting, slicing and boiling. You really have to be dedicated to food to do all of this!
Munchkin and Grapes.
It is all indeed a labour of love. If I didn’t love cooking and eating so much, I honestly would not do all of this. For any people out there who dream of a self-sustainable farming existence, they need to first of all, ask themselves if they are prepared to spend at least 50% of their day planting, weeding, harvesting, preserving and preparing food. Because that is all it is about. When I first moved to Belize, there were a number of couples who also bought farms and wanted to grow their own food to some extent. One couple, who had more resources than us, even got a digger to mound up 5 feet high garden rows to grow vegetables. Their idea worked wonders and they had tonnes of vegetables…the only problem was that neither of them were willing to pick or cook any of them. At the time, one of them had remarked,
“…do you know what this place (Punta Gorda) really needs? Yes, we need a “Drive Through” so that we can just pick up our meals…in and out…without having to wait around…”
This was a serious comment but nevertheless, I found it hilarious and I still to this very day, it makes me chuckle. For me, the fact that there was no “Drive Through” was one of the reasons why I came to Belize!
In the end, they gave up on the garden idea and now mostly buy all the food in, despite having all the space and resources to plant their own food.
The lesson to be learned here is to realise your own real motivations and predilections because that is your real push to do things. Also, subsistence farming does not make you rich so if you are chasing the bucks, don’t even consider this type of living. If you are looking for food security and independence, then you might think about this as a worthwhile option.
We are now facing a slight problem with writing our posts. Our camera has suddenly stopped working and it looks like it is going the usual way of “throw-away consumables.” Now, this is really upsetting because the camera was a gift and it was not cheap. It has only lasted 18 months. We are not the kind of people who like to throw away stuff to buy more gadgets to play with and throw again. Plus, we are in Belize!! I can not physically buy a brand new camera in Punta Gorda, I would have to drive two hours to Belmopan to get one. Anyway, we tried the camera on my crappy phone (I am still using a flip phone whilst everyone now is onto the clunky, rectangular looking things) and it does work. The only problem is that, for some unknown reason, we can not transfer pictures from the phone to the computer. Possibly because Gnome uses Linux rather than Windows?? However, it does work the other way…pictures from computer to phone…but, that is of no help to us. Arrrrghhh!!!
I don’t know if getting a new phone will change things…I loathe to buy yet another gadget. It is my philosophy to keep a mobile phone until it dies its natural death, usually a life-span of 2 years (how ridiculous). I might be trying the pawn shop for a cheap camera!!
Here are some pictures that I saved up for a rainy day:
Caterpillars on African Tulip Tree.
Poor Froggy!! Must breed more in our buckets of water…
Snake Eating Frog.
Let’s hope we come up with a solution because otherwise, you will just have to read my plain old words and imagine the pictures!
I know…she looks kinda friendly and sweet but believe me, our Beatrice doggy has been quite a handful right from the get go.
Our Mad Doggie.
We adopted her at age 1 from an old American lady in Punta Gorda (Ms. Letty). Everyone knows Ms. Letty because she has been around for a long, long time and now she is one of these retired old, harmless ladies who likes to while away her hours on a recliner watching American sitcoms. However, for reasons unknown to any of us (we have all speculated but can not find a logical answer) she acquired Beatrice as a puppy and wanted to raise her as a “house dog” in a her tiny, little house. Ms. Letty also owns a chihuahua so we are not sure why she insisted upon having a rotweiller/pitbull as another house pet. Anyway, the dog did not go according to plan since she ended up being energetic and feisty and far too big to be kept indoors. I think Ms. Letty tried really hard to hold onto Beatrice (one year of doggy bouncy madness) but what really clinched it in the end, was when Beatrice started eating the house walls.
At this point, we decided that we needed a farm dog and Ms. Letty was very happy to let Beatrice come to us since we had a huge place for the dog to run around in.
I will not even attempt to paint a romantic picture of this dog. She is a killer dog and she systematically killed one goose, five ducks and maimed one cat in the course of her time here. She seldom responds to commands (maybe “sit” sometimes). Otherwise, she is bouncing about, slobbering and whipping herself up into a killing frenzy for anything she can get her hands on. You will not believe the number of chances we have given her and each time, her killing instinct gets the better of her. In order to protect our animals, she is now regrettably tied up on a long chain and we take her on supervised walks (on the leash) through-out the day.
It is not a bad life for a dog on the farm but we would honestly like her to roam around freely without all these restrictions.
Beatrice is 3 years old now and we have decided to give it one more chance. Well, we saved our pennies up and bought a dog training collar. So far, we have been using it for 5 days only. And, I am very glad to say that she is responding really well, just to the beeping noise. She can respond to 4 commands already and she is behaving consistently. We are so pleased with our doggie rehabilitation; we are going to continue commands on the leash for another two weeks and the next step will be “off the leash.”
She Can “Sit” Now!
Our ultimate hope is that she can run freely around the farm eventually.
Also, after that, we need to move onto Doggy Rehab 2 with Shaneeka, the guinea-pig stalker. She also has quite a history but I will talk about her another time!
Welcome to MGNews, sponsored by Casa Mascia Apothecary. Mr. Arnold Wang has been shamelessly coined the “Pie Man” because of his desire to literally make all the piggies in the gated community of Paradise Pastures into guinea pig meat pies. This week, MGNews PrimeTime Sunday, offers Mr. Wang the chance to speak out.
No Messing Around With The Pie Man!
Here is an exclusive interview with Mr. Arnold Wang:
MGNews Reporter: Mr. Wang, thank-you for taking part in this interview with MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. Tell us, are you going to make meat pies out of the piggies?
Mr. Wang: Yes, I am. Not only will I make them into delicious pies but I will also make them rich!
MGNews Reporter: How will you make them rich?
Mr. Wang: I will take a portion of the guinea pig community and sell them “on the hoof” for instant cash sales. Furthermore, some of these piggies can be sold off as pets.
MGNews Reporter: How will you the guinea pigs profit from this?
Mr. Wang: I will build more breeding units for Paradise Pastures.
MGNews Reporter: Mr. Wang, you sound like quite an entrepreneur, do you think you sell yourself enough to become Mayor?
Mr.Wang: Definitely. We need pragmatism. We need money. As soon as the piggies realise that they exist only for the sake of making money, then they will come round to my way of thinking.
MGNews Reporter: Thank-you Mr. Wang. We wish you luck in your campaign.
Mr. Wang. The Man Who Can.Money, Money, Money For Paradise Pastures.
What the Experts Say:
Mr. Richie Rich is a successful cattle farmer in Belize:
This is the way to go. I certainly agree that the animals exist only for money-making and profit. It makes no sense to have them around for no other reason. Money always makes sense. The Guatemalans and the Mexicans will certainly bring in their Guinea Pig Trailers to buy them “on the hoof.” And if Mr. Wang wishes to add a higher value to his guinea pig operation, then he can consider his own brand of meat pies and sausages.
Ms. Melina Bottomley is a marketing expert from New York:
Marketing will be the way to go for Mr. Wang right from the get go. 50% of his profits should go back into marketing of Guinea Pig Pies. The marketing blitz is all that counts to clinch this sale. Newspapers, Radio, Television, The Works! He needs an angle though…mmm..probably “grass fed” and “organic” are words he should be using. Not to mention that the piggies are “free range” or “free voting” or whatever. This will work!
Brendan Beamer is an owner of a large chicken operation in Belize:
If it’s not chicken, he won’t be able to sell it!
Edgar Simpson is an ordinary bloke on the street:
Pretty intimidating…especially with the gun. Not sure if the piggies can handle such aggression. They might want to hire someone from Human Resources.
Casa Mascia. Supreme Pet Soap, Maximal Velocity Soap.I Use Casa Mascia Soap. Do You Have a Problem With That?
Well, the Pie Man is certainly very confident with his economic forecast. Is this what the Piggies want on Paradise Pastures? Do they want to be bred for profit and no fun? Will he get their votes?
Tune in again next week to MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Remember, it’s only Funday if you make it PrimeTime Sunday!
Hi Everyone. This morning, poor Gnome woke up with a terrible crick in his neck. Despite this pain, he soldiered on since the weather was looking good…a bright sunny start and we were ready for a big clean up with brush-mowing and coconut palm cleaning!! All of a sudden, grey clouds gathered and blocked out the sun and we had a down-pour at 8am this morning.
And, so the place is still looking bushy:
Bushy Farm.
Gnome took solace in making some more Pet Sulphur and Lime Dip:
Boiling Sulphur and Lime together.
Gnome really likes the smell of sulphur; he says he feels cleansed and invigorated from the fumes.
We received a re-order for our new pet product which is used to treat mange, fleas, ticks and ringworm:
We have decided to recycle old beer bottles to make the product really cheap and affordable. And, so when we went to the Farm Store in Punta Gorda last week, the manager said to Gnome,
“I’d like to order some more Presidente, please!”
Mr. Brian Cho at The Farm Store.
Despite removing all the tell-tale beer stickers from the bottle, the farm store manager and workers still recognised the Presidente branded beer bottle! This is a picture of Gnome bottling the Sulphur-Lime Dip…now, also known as Presidente!
Anyway, we tried to keep busy. We harvested our lemons and put them through this cool citrus peeler, which the locals usually use for oranges.
Citrus Peeler.
I dry the peel and use it for flavouring of food such as stews, stir frys, soups and of course, limoncello Also, in the process of peeling, we can catch some essential oil from the peel…about 1ml for every 4 lemons and so to get 30mls(1oz) you need 120 lemons in total! Just goes to show the value of a tiny bottle of essential oil…the quantities of biomass never ceases to astound me!
It was so hot today!! What a change from the rains…now we are starting to worry about our water situation because we still do not have a well-pump. Gnome says we are on Red Alert which means that we have to use water judicially and some frog spawn will be have sacrificed as we use up our collection of buckets.
Anyway, I am onto the Beef Jerky and Chilli Mead (having guzzled down all the Resurrection Metheglin, which I found most profoundly enlightening). If you will recall, we decided to make a mead out of beef jerky (ended up being black pepper beef jerky) because there is a traditional ale recipe made with rooster (cock). If you don’t remember that, perhaps you might remember Gnome’s cock jokes which everyone politely ignored! Let us don our evening wear to do the tasting:
I have shortened the name of this mead to “BJ” for Beef Jerky (I have to spell it out because Gnome thought it was something else). Munchkins have a clean mind!!
Beef Jerky and Chilli Mead.
Colour is light amber with some cloudiness. No head but ample small bubbles can be seen.
Smells very mildly of home-made beef soup with a background of spiciness.
The beef jerky lends a very well-rounded taste like a good soup that has had time to cook and absorb flavours. There is a mild hot after taste from the chilli and black pepper (if you ask me…I would like more chilli with the next batch).
Excellent. Totally love the heat and soupiness of this mead. Definitely a favourite!!
By the way, Gnome does not drink because he has “Yang in his liver” which gets him all heaty . Every time he even has one drink, he gets pimples and piles (poor Gnome). I have to balance the “fire” with really simple cooling foods like rice, tofu and cucumbers (which he dislikes). So he said that he would rather give up drinking than eat boring food like that!
Hi Everyone!! We have been so busy well, with life that the grass has grown up with all the rains. The jungle has all of a suddenly sneaked up on us and bang…we feel like we are living in the middle of the bush. Aaarghh!! Can’t see anything for the tall grass and humongous weeds (here in Belize, they are not mere dandelions…they grow into monster plants)!!
It is time for a big mow and tidy up. Gnome agrees with me too.
However, we have one slight problem. The weather is not co-operating!! It is pouring down!!
So, instead of farm stuff let us move swiftly onto a metheglin tasting. During our EasterTime madness, Gnome had made a Resurrection Metheglin with the following flavourings: liquorice root, star anise and Ligusticum wallichi, also known as Chuanxiong Rhizoma in Traditional Chinese Medicine and also as Szechuan Lovage. The star anise and liquorice root add that sweetish, unctuous and mouth-coating flavour while the Rhizoma adds a more earthy, complex and spicy aroma that has hints of fennel and celery.
Liquorice Root, Star Anise and Szechuan Lovage.Resurrection Metheglin.
Colour is golden yellow and effervescent; medium sized bubbles with good fizz. Slightly cloudy. No Head.
Smells like a lager.
The first sip is thirst-quenching when served at a cold temperature. It is mild tasting with anise and celery-like under-tones. The herbaceous flavour is light and crisp, adding a refreshing feeling to the overall taste. The liquorice is not detectable so for next time, we will add more of this.
Very Good!!
So good that Munchkin has a confession to make. There are no more bottles left…they have been systematically guzzled down …slowly…one a day (56 bottles in total). She just had the last one today and so felt that it was time to do a “tasting” before the Resurrection Metheglin was sadly a thing of the past.
Hi Everyone!! We are back. The truck has brand new universal joints so it no longer makes that funny creaking noise at the back. We feel so much better for not hearing the truck groan and complain! We had a much nicer time once we started on the road again, driving down the Southern Highway, away from Belize City.
We stopped at the Taiwanese Store, outside of Belize City. Everytime, I go there, I always point at things in a curious way and ask the owners what they are and how to cook them. This is because a lot of food is not labelled or labelled in Chinese only. This time, the owners were having lunch and offered to share some of it with us.
Our Taiwanese Friends.
We were most honoured by their generosity, and as we ate, the lady pointed to the various food packets and condiments to explain to me the ingredients which she had used. In typical Chinese teaching fashion (this is how I learned to cook from my mum), they told me to taste the dishes so that I could mimic the flavours through memory.
The Taiwanese couple are vegetarian so most of their food is soya-based (bean curd mostly) with plenty of fresh greens and vegetables and rice as the staple, of course. In this instance, they used dehydrated beancurd as a main protein source, in different sizes, to give various textures and consistency. The greens that they were eating were sweet potato greens. They also cooked some of their own fresh bamboo shoots. The food was delicious and had the taste of home-cooked Chinese fare. The couple was also rather impressed by Gnome’s use of chopsticks and general Chinese etiquette (Gnome, the Chinese Wannabee).
Taiwanese Food For Lunch.
Here are the various types of dehydrated tofu. I will write more about these in another post. The different shapes and sizes give the appearances of different cuts of meat. For instance, the small stringy ones mimic the consistency of minced (ground) meat. I never considered being a vegetarian before this but I could definitely handle eating this food everyday.
Different Types of Dried Tofu.
I spotted some dried Lion’s Mane Mushrooms, Hericium erinaceus; also known as Monkey Heads. This one will have a future post, I promise you!
Monkey Head Mushroom.
Anyway, back on the road, there were road works on the Highway from Belize City to Belmopan. There was even road congestion and a small traffic jam in Belmopan (wow…never seen before…the country is developing).
Road Works in Belmopan.
There were numerous police stops presumably because the country is on nationwide alert for the wanted man, El Chapo (the “notorious Kingpin”), who recently escaped from a Mexican prison by digging a one mile tunnel out to escape. Sounds like something out of a movie, doesn’t it?
We used “Rabbit Ears” mostly as our hailing signal on the road. Protection to All!
Rabbit Ears. Hailing In Belize.
Homeward bound, we saw a veritable bounty of white goods on a pick-up truck. One Fridge, One Freezer, 2 Mattresses and an Amoire. What an auspicious find.
Super Bonus Pick-up.
Once we hit the Toledo, the road was definitely quieter with no police stops within the district. Definitely the “Forgotten District.”
MGNews PrimeTime Sunday bringing you the latest news on the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. We give you the News that matters…the tears of joy, the tears of sadness, the ups and downs of the Paradise Piggies. This week, MGNews puts the focus on the piggies. Let’s take a trip down to the gated community to ask the residents what they think of the three candidates.
Mr. Arnold Wang a.k.a “The Pie Man.”
Mr. Game Change promises economic action in Paradise Pastures. Piggies should be bred for meat pies or pets in order to promote profit, confidence and usefulness in the community.
The Pie Man.
What the Piggies Say:
Grandma Stumpy on the right.
Grandma Stumpy: He is certainly a scary looking man, no doubt about that.
MGNews Reporter: What do you think of his policies?
Grandma Stumpy: His what? Say that again, son, I’m a bit tone deaf…
Matilda Piggie.
Matilda Piggie: He makes me want to run into a mound of grass and hide…weeeeeee!!
MGNews Reporter: Would you vote for him?
Matilda Piggie: I suppose if he scared me enough I would vote for him…
Magical Rodent a.k.a “Mad T Mouse.”
Magical Rodent promises to take the cavy community “where no cavy has gone before.” She aims to lead the Piggies back to the wild to breed a Super Being Guinea Pig to rule over Homo sapiens. Power to the Piggies!
Piggies, Destiny Awaits! Or I Will Eat My Hat!!
What the Piggies Say:
GrandMa Stumpy.
Grandma Stumpy: Universe’s Super What? Dat fi True?
Matilda Piggie: Wow…she wants to breed us into a Super Piggie! She is scary too!
Dishawn Piggie: Hmmm…I always felt that we, Cavia porcellus, had more potential as a species. Her complex hybridisation program is worth more research. Having descended from the domesticated species Cavia tschudii, we cavies would certainly find it a challenge to become wild again but it doesn’t mean that it is not a possibility.
Mayor Gnome a.k.a “El Diablo Blanco.”
Mayor Gnome has taken a decidedly tough stance this year. His empathy and sympathy has been replaced by “Tough Love.”
El Diablo.
What the Piggies Say:
Piggies in Focus.
Grandma Stumpy: Oooh, I always vote for Mayor Gnome!
MGNews Reporter: Why?
Grandma Stumpy: He’s a right handsome young gnome, that’s for sure!
MGNews Reporter: And his policies?
Gorgeous George Piggie: What’s happened to MG, eh? Tough Love, eh? More like Tough Luck! He’s turned into a right evil bugger!
Matilda Piggie: He is scary too!!!
Dishawn Piggie: He doesn’t even have a party manifesto. What a Joker!
Juanita Piggie: I fear that something bad has happened to Mayor Gnome…no compassion and no love. He is dark and moody…where is the old, happy MG? (She makes the sign of the cross…she is a Catholic Piggie).
MGNews Reporter: And the policies?
All Piggies in unison: The What?
Well, there you are. We have Mr. Pie Man, Mad T Mouse and El Diablo Blanco.
How exciting…what a bunch of Cronies we have this year for The Mayoral Elections!
Who’s it going to be?? Tune in next week. MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Funday Sunday: All The Fun You can Stand. 9 more weeks and counting!!
A few weeks back when we were travelling on the highway from Belize City to Belmopan, this is what happened:
