Reader’s Poll Results and Last Day before The Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures!!
MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. We are all in a tizz!! We are soooo excited, we can’t contain ourselves. The suspense is killing us. We look back at all the campaigns, the thrills and the spills, the good and the evil, and twists and the turns, it has indeed been a roller-coaster ride all the way to Election Day.
We are proud to present to you the results of our Reader’s Poll.
Who is the best candidate?
Mayor Gnome 66.67%.
Magical Rodent 33.33%.
Mr Arnold Wang 0%
So, is the Reader’s Poll a reflection of the votes on Paradise Pastures?
We are literally on the edge of our seats…
Who is it going to be?
Arnold Wang, The Pie Man.Magical Rodent, Mad T Mouse.Mayor Gnome, El Diablo Blanco.
One More Week. 8 Days and counting. MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. Boy, we are keeling over with excitement.
Mayoral Election 2015, Paradise Pastures, 21st September 2015.
Mark the date on your calendar because it could possibly the most exciting day of the year! Tonight, we give the viewers the chance to vote in our Paradise Pastures Poll.
You can vote as many times as you like and you have 7 days to do it in. Get Your Votes in Folks!!
Will it be Candidate No.1:
Mr. Arnold Wang, The Pie Man.
Time For a Game Change Piggies!
He is a straight talking, fearless kinda guy who wants to make meat pies out of the piggies. Nothing wrong with a man trying to make his way in the world.
Will it be Candidate No.2:
Magical Rodent.
Ms. Maddy T or Magical Rodent or Mad T Mouse.
Wow, what a mouthful of names but she’s worth the name dropping because she promises to lead the Piggies to their new underground home. She will create the “Universe’s Super Being Piggie” from this community of Piggies and whatsmore, she wants to return to the surface to enslave the humans. A bold statement from an intelligent and thoughtful rodent.
Will it be candidate No.3:
Tuff Love. Nuff Said.
Mayor Gnome, El Diablo Blanco.
Looking for another term at Paradise Pastures. Tough Love Gnome needs no introductions. Even although he has gone through a sinister campaign change, the Piggies still admire his audacity and panache. Despite all the evil and darkness, his charm may prevail and he might just win on the strength of his good looks.
Start your voting now!! The Reader’s Poll for Paradise Pastures Mayoral election 2015 starts now. Be proud, be a part of it. Don’t miss out on your chance to vote.
MGNews PrimeTime Sunday are proud to bring you the latest news on The Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. We bring you the facts only so that you the viewer can decide for yourself. The fate of the nation of Paradise Piggies will be decided on the 21st of September 2015. Let’s take this week to give all the candidates a chance to have their say and opinion on their fellow candidates.
Mr. Arnold Wang, The Pie Man.
Any Piggie Failing to Comply To Meat Pie Regulations, Gets Metal Pie!
Metal Pie.
The Pie Man Delivers…
The Pie Man.
I will only say this once…I am THE PIE MAN. No Pizza Delivery here.
Pie or Die:
Come Get Your Pies!!
Piggies and Mozzarella Pie, would you like fries with that?
What the Candidates Say:
Mayor Gnome:
There is certainly no stopping Mr. Arnold Wang with his fancy talk and fancy gun. It’s the gun that’s talking if you ask me!
Magical Rodent:
Piffling idiot human. The Universe’s Super Being Piggie will rid this world of scum like him.
Magical Rodent, Mad T Mouse.
The magic is within all of us…
Rodent Magic.
May the force be with all Piggies!
Power to The Piggies!!
Illumination awaits…
Where No Cavy Has Gone Before!
Prepare to excavate to your Freedom!
What the Candidates Say:
Mayor Gnome:
She’s a Rat with Balls of Steel!!
Mr. Arnold Wang:
If they have no money, how are they going to survive? You can’t live on madness and fresh air.
Mayor Gnome, El Diablo Blanco
Pathetic Piggies R Us:
Prepare To Meet Thy Maker!
Do my bidding, piggie puppets:
Tough Love Piggies!
Piddly Piggies, vote for Mayor Gnome:
Vote For Mayor Gnome!
Tuff Luff, Nuff Said.
What the Candidates Say:
Mr. Arnold Wang:
He’s a bit harsh, isn’t he? He needs to lighten up a tad.
Magical Rodent:
Puny Gnome!! We will take over the Gnomes too with Super Piggie!
MGNews has given the candidates the chance to air their views and opinions. What a bunch of bright, intelligent and thoughtful candidates we have this year for the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise pastures.
This is MGNews PrimeTime Sunday bringing you the latest in the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. Last week, we brought you the inside story on Mayor Gnome’s dark and secretive past.
El Diablo Blanco.
Tonight, we bring in the panel of experts to discuss and analyse Mayor Gnome’s inner struggle with good and evil.
Dr. Timothy Beedley MD, Psychiatrist.
Dr. Timothy Beedley MD.
In my medical opinion, I believe Mayor Gnome is suffering from the eponymous syndrome first described by Neilson and Freedman in 1962; The Neilson-Freedman Syndrome has been popularly coined the “Bad Boy Syndrome” by popular media. To put it in Layman’s terms, a “good boy” from a stable, loving family background of medium to upper socio-economic status suddenly loses self-confidence and enters into a deep depression plus/minus delusions or hallucinations. He then joins a social group of young men with “challenged upbringing,” usually of low social economic status. In order to form a bond with this group, he must perform deeds of initiation. These “rites of passage” may involve breaking the law. Mayor Gnome may possibly have suffered from this syndrome when he was oversesas in Australia. The Gnome reference is most likely delusional associated with depression. The recent mood instability of Mayor Gnome has probably been triggered by stress over the up coming Mayoral Elections. I surmise that he is suffering from a delayed Post Traumatic Syndrome related to specific traumatic events in his past.
Mayor Gnome is as much a Gnome as I am an Elf. There is no such thing as a Gnome…or an Elf, for that matter.
Dr. Gerald Walker, Anthropologist and Expert on Gnomes.
Author of the “The Anthropology of the Gnomus Species” and the best-selling popular series “It’s A Gnome’s World.”
Gnomes do exist; maybe not in our human physical plane but they do exist on a different level. I have amassed enough cultural information and richly woven stories to form an intricate understanding of Gnomes. Most of the stories come from human culture, passed from generation to generation through many thousands of years. Details may change, but the constant thread is the existence of these creatures and their character traits remain faithful to them despite the scourges of time and differences in location and story-teller. The stories of the Aboriginal Gnomes of Australia date back tens of thousands of years. They are the oldest surviving race of Gnomes and their stories are ones of stupendous feats over space and time where they commune with Dreamtime spirits of the Outback. It is popular fiction that these Gnomes are aggressive, abusive simpletons. The truth is that that they have superior intellect and knowledge. If Mayor Gnome was actually fortunate enough to have been accepted by these Gnomes, then I take my hat off to him. It is my concern that during that time, he may have communed with a “difficult spirit” which is now the cause of his inner struggle.
The Dichotomy of Good and Evil.
Phew…that’s all very, heavy stodgy stuff!! A bit too hard to digest for MGNews especially when it’s PrimeTime Sunday Family Fun and not The Science Channel! Let’s bring in the piggies and ask them about Mayor Gnome’s troubles.
Good Old Grandma Stumpy:
Grandma Stumpy on the right.
I think that everything is getting a bit out of hand. Mayor Gnome is a Gnome…end of story. Why do you have go digging into his past? We piggies don’t care about the dichotomy whatsits…we care about Mayor Gnome. Stop stirring the wooden spoon, son!
Matilda Piggie:
Mayor Gnome will come good. I can feel it…he makes me gurgle!
Dishawn Piggie:
MGNews is the source of all the malcontent amongst our community; they continue to feed us with mis-information and mis-direction in order to trash our minds and intellect. Enough is enough…I am going underground with Mad T Mouse.
Oscar Piggie:
Boy, what a mad bunch of candidates…with a magical mouse, a gun-wielding maniac and a gnome-gone-crazy . Mad T Mouse is the best of the bad bunch and we haven’t got many screws to work with.
Gorgeous George Piggie:
Paradise Pastures.
My money’s on the meat pies.
Juanita Piggie:
No comment. Makes the sign of the Cross (Catholic Piggie).
Mayor Gnome has made himself unavailable for comment. He did however say to MGNews,”Bugger off, Leave me alone!”
Bugger Off!!
What a cheek! Anyway, tonight’s special was brought to you by MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6Pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Next week, more campaign blitzing from all candidates. The heat is on…only on MGNews PrimeTime Sunday.
Welcome to MGNews, sponsored by Casa Mascia Apothecary. Mr. Arnold Wang has been shamelessly coined the “Pie Man” because of his desire to literally make all the piggies in the gated community of Paradise Pastures into guinea pig meat pies. This week, MGNews PrimeTime Sunday, offers Mr. Wang the chance to speak out.
No Messing Around With The Pie Man!
Here is an exclusive interview with Mr. Arnold Wang:
MGNews Reporter: Mr. Wang, thank-you for taking part in this interview with MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. Tell us, are you going to make meat pies out of the piggies?
Mr. Wang: Yes, I am. Not only will I make them into delicious pies but I will also make them rich!
MGNews Reporter: How will you make them rich?
Mr. Wang: I will take a portion of the guinea pig community and sell them “on the hoof” for instant cash sales. Furthermore, some of these piggies can be sold off as pets.
MGNews Reporter: How will you the guinea pigs profit from this?
Mr. Wang: I will build more breeding units for Paradise Pastures.
MGNews Reporter: Mr. Wang, you sound like quite an entrepreneur, do you think you sell yourself enough to become Mayor?
Mr.Wang: Definitely. We need pragmatism. We need money. As soon as the piggies realise that they exist only for the sake of making money, then they will come round to my way of thinking.
MGNews Reporter: Thank-you Mr. Wang. We wish you luck in your campaign.
Mr. Wang. The Man Who Can.Money, Money, Money For Paradise Pastures.
What the Experts Say:
Mr. Richie Rich is a successful cattle farmer in Belize:
This is the way to go. I certainly agree that the animals exist only for money-making and profit. It makes no sense to have them around for no other reason. Money always makes sense. The Guatemalans and the Mexicans will certainly bring in their Guinea Pig Trailers to buy them “on the hoof.” And if Mr. Wang wishes to add a higher value to his guinea pig operation, then he can consider his own brand of meat pies and sausages.
Ms. Melina Bottomley is a marketing expert from New York:
Marketing will be the way to go for Mr. Wang right from the get go. 50% of his profits should go back into marketing of Guinea Pig Pies. The marketing blitz is all that counts to clinch this sale. Newspapers, Radio, Television, The Works! He needs an angle though…mmm..probably “grass fed” and “organic” are words he should be using. Not to mention that the piggies are “free range” or “free voting” or whatever. This will work!
Brendan Beamer is an owner of a large chicken operation in Belize:
If it’s not chicken, he won’t be able to sell it!
Edgar Simpson is an ordinary bloke on the street:
Pretty intimidating…especially with the gun. Not sure if the piggies can handle such aggression. They might want to hire someone from Human Resources.
Casa Mascia. Supreme Pet Soap, Maximal Velocity Soap.I Use Casa Mascia Soap. Do You Have a Problem With That?
Well, the Pie Man is certainly very confident with his economic forecast. Is this what the Piggies want on Paradise Pastures? Do they want to be bred for profit and no fun? Will he get their votes?
Tune in again next week to MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Remember, it’s only Funday if you make it PrimeTime Sunday!
MGNews PrimeTime Sunday bringing you the latest news on the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. We give you the News that matters…the tears of joy, the tears of sadness, the ups and downs of the Paradise Piggies. This week, MGNews puts the focus on the piggies. Let’s take a trip down to the gated community to ask the residents what they think of the three candidates.
Mr. Arnold Wang a.k.a “The Pie Man.”
Mr. Game Change promises economic action in Paradise Pastures. Piggies should be bred for meat pies or pets in order to promote profit, confidence and usefulness in the community.
The Pie Man.
What the Piggies Say:
Grandma Stumpy on the right.
Grandma Stumpy: He is certainly a scary looking man, no doubt about that.
MGNews Reporter: What do you think of his policies?
Grandma Stumpy: His what? Say that again, son, I’m a bit tone deaf…
Matilda Piggie.
Matilda Piggie: He makes me want to run into a mound of grass and hide…weeeeeee!!
MGNews Reporter: Would you vote for him?
Matilda Piggie: I suppose if he scared me enough I would vote for him…
Magical Rodent a.k.a “Mad T Mouse.”
Magical Rodent promises to take the cavy community “where no cavy has gone before.” She aims to lead the Piggies back to the wild to breed a Super Being Guinea Pig to rule over Homo sapiens. Power to the Piggies!
Piggies, Destiny Awaits! Or I Will Eat My Hat!!
What the Piggies Say:
GrandMa Stumpy.
Grandma Stumpy: Universe’s Super What? Dat fi True?
Matilda Piggie: Wow…she wants to breed us into a Super Piggie! She is scary too!
Dishawn Piggie: Hmmm…I always felt that we, Cavia porcellus, had more potential as a species. Her complex hybridisation program is worth more research. Having descended from the domesticated species Cavia tschudii, we cavies would certainly find it a challenge to become wild again but it doesn’t mean that it is not a possibility.
Mayor Gnome a.k.a “El Diablo Blanco.”
Mayor Gnome has taken a decidedly tough stance this year. His empathy and sympathy has been replaced by “Tough Love.”
El Diablo.
What the Piggies Say:
Piggies in Focus.
Grandma Stumpy: Oooh, I always vote for Mayor Gnome!
MGNews Reporter: Why?
Grandma Stumpy: He’s a right handsome young gnome, that’s for sure!
MGNews Reporter: And his policies?
Gorgeous George Piggie: What’s happened to MG, eh? Tough Love, eh? More like Tough Luck! He’s turned into a right evil bugger!
Matilda Piggie: He is scary too!!!
Dishawn Piggie: He doesn’t even have a party manifesto. What a Joker!
Juanita Piggie: I fear that something bad has happened to Mayor Gnome…no compassion and no love. He is dark and moody…where is the old, happy MG? (She makes the sign of the cross…she is a Catholic Piggie).
MGNews Reporter: And the policies?
All Piggies in unison: The What?
Well, there you are. We have Mr. Pie Man, Mad T Mouse and El Diablo Blanco.
How exciting…what a bunch of Cronies we have this year for The Mayoral Elections!
Who’s it going to be?? Tune in next week. MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Funday Sunday: All The Fun You can Stand. 9 more weeks and counting!!
