One More Week. 8 Days and counting. MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. Boy, we are keeling over with excitement.
Mayoral Election 2015, Paradise Pastures, 21st September 2015.
Mark the date on your calendar because it could possibly the most exciting day of the year! Tonight, we give the viewers the chance to vote in our Paradise Pastures Poll.
You can vote as many times as you like and you have 7 days to do it in. Get Your Votes in Folks!!
Will it be Candidate No.1:
Mr. Arnold Wang, The Pie Man.
Time For a Game Change Piggies!
He is a straight talking, fearless kinda guy who wants to make meat pies out of the piggies. Nothing wrong with a man trying to make his way in the world.
Will it be Candidate No.2:
Magical Rodent.
Ms. Maddy T or Magical Rodent or Mad T Mouse.
Wow, what a mouthful of names but she’s worth the name dropping because she promises to lead the Piggies to their new underground home. She will create the “Universe’s Super Being Piggie” from this community of Piggies and whatsmore, she wants to return to the surface to enslave the humans. A bold statement from an intelligent and thoughtful rodent.
Will it be candidate No.3:
Tuff Love. Nuff Said.
Mayor Gnome, El Diablo Blanco.
Looking for another term at Paradise Pastures. Tough Love Gnome needs no introductions. Even although he has gone through a sinister campaign change, the Piggies still admire his audacity and panache. Despite all the evil and darkness, his charm may prevail and he might just win on the strength of his good looks.
Start your voting now!! The Reader’s Poll for Paradise Pastures Mayoral election 2015 starts now. Be proud, be a part of it. Don’t miss out on your chance to vote.
It’s a Saturday night so I am sure you are all out having fun!! A few days ago, I mentioned that we visited a friend at Cotton Tree Lodge. Here are a few pictures.
It has been wet wet wet from the rains so the roads are very muddy:
Mud Everywhere.
Oh look…a Gnome was spotted at Cotton Tree Lodge. A tall specimen…I think the latin name is Gnomo gigantius.
This was the Maya Mountain Cacao house where chocolate beans were fermented and processed. They have recently moved their operation to “the dump” which is a place commonly so-called with no sign of a dump. It is just about 10 miles down the highway from the Barranco turn off.
A few days ago, I was having a “bad day” and chaos reigned through out. Everything I tried to do didn’t turn out and it became a vicious cycle. Wahhhhh!!! Don’t you ever just want to jump up and down with indignation!!
Anyway, Gnome tried to be helpful and suggested that I go into the kitchen and cook something nice. That usually does the trick…
I decided to embark upon the folly of baking cinnamon buns and to this very date, I still can’t make them. I have followed many recipes and they never turn out…they are usually too gooey to be manipulated into a roll. Of course, this time was no different, if not worse. The sticky, yeasted mix was just a big sloppy monster on my kitchen counter and it looked alive, menacing and explosive. At this point, I was nearly in tears (yes, even the best of us has a good old cry now and then) and I called Gnome for help.
Gnome to the Rescue.
With one deft swoop, Gnome scooped up the schloppp and chucked it into my glass baking dish. By the time he calmed down the chaos in the kitchen (ie. me) the cinnamon roll- gone wrong was looking quite the thing as it started expanding and taking up the space in the dish.
Monster Cinnamon Goo Cake!!
I did end up baking the cake which I have now coined “Cinnamon Chaos Cake.” It is so much simpler than rolling out those darned buns…you just take any cinnamon bun recipe and you slop it into a baking dish, cinnamon sauce and everything. Bake it for the same amount of time as the normal recipe and there you go…it tastes exactly like the cinnamon roll but even better…no goo on a rolling pin and tears to boot!!
Well, Gnome has always been telling me that he prefers lemons to limes. In fact, we find it at lot easier to grow lemons in Toledo compared to all the other citrus. The citrus here are really susceptible to the “citrus greening disease” which is caused by the Asian citrus psyllid. We don’t need to go into the technical details but basically this insect feeds on parts of the citrus tree and in turn spreads a deadly bacterial disease. The diseased tree exhibits yellowing of leaves and defoliation. Many of our citrus have this disease and in fact we have lost grapefruit, oranges, limes and kumquats to this infestation.
This disease is also called Huanglongbing because its origins trace back to Tropical Asia and this means “yellow dragon disease.”
Anyway, back to the lemons. Out of all the citrus, our lemons seem to have developed a healthy resistance to this disease. And we have been getting a really good harvest this season. We have been using peels for flavouring (teas/ liqueurs/cooking), collecting the lemon essential oil from the peel and squeezing the juice to make solid lemon ice cubes. We also have limes baring but I have not been as aggressive in harvesting them.
Peeled Lemons.
And, so everyday, we drink cool water with lemon ice cubes. Today, I decided to try the lemon-lime challenge with Gnome to see if he would notice the difference. Instead of his usual lemon cube, I squeezed lime juice into his water. With a twinkle in my eye I said to him,
“Well, did you like your lemon drink?”
I put particular emphasis on the word “lemon.”
Gnome replied, “Yes, very good.”
I giggled and guffawed and said, “You’ve just failed the lemon-lime challenge!”
Lemons and Limes.
(It’s a bit like the Pepsi-Cola Challenge!!)
Gnome retorted by saying that it wasn’t fair because he did not know that I was testing him.
I said, “That was the point.”
Anyway, in conclusion we have decided that we can squeeze lemons and limes to make our ice cubes. It makes no difference really and both adequately quench our thirst. So no more poo-pooing limes!!
Hello Everyone!! It is so difficult finding a time slot to write a post; right now, the Internet is reliable from 4am to about 8am…this is however, our outside farm time and business emailing. After 8am, the Internet is virtually non-existent with a few minutes, now and then, of Internet activity to download emails. Not enough to quickly write a post for a Blog. At about 5pm, the Internet starts back up in spits and spurts…this is when I dive in and take my opportunity. After 6pm, Gnome uses the computer/ Internet to do Linux stuff. Oh and by the way, we share the one computer so that also limits usage.
Sometimes, because of all these complications, there is simply no opportunity to write a post. Hence, the reason why you might get short periods of silence.
Anyway, it was town day today. Instead of waking up at 4am, we made a compromise and woke up at 6am. This is still really early because nothing really starts opening in Punta Gorda until about 9am. The Government offices start at 8am but they aren’t really getting down to business until a later in the morning. If you ask me…the best time to go a Government Office is at 11.30am which is just before lunch. Don’t go at 11.45am because they will already be enroute to their favourite Rice and Beans joint. Supermarkets (the majority are Chinese owned) open after 9am…the Chinese can be a tad tardy and if you drive pass one of this places, you usually see the Belizean workers loitering outside waiting for their Chinese bosses to open shop. It is all very slow and everyone takes their own sweet time to start up.
So, at 6am, we were up and jumping about like hyperactive frogs waiting for the faithful opening hour. Gnome was laughing at the fact that we had to wait three hours for everyone else to start. It is extraordinary how farm life works on a completely different time line from town life! Anyway, we mixed up a batch of chocolate soap in the interim:
Making Chocolate Soap.
We are making Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate and White Cocao Butter soap for the new tourist season in November. This is the Milk Chocolate Soap:
Solid Chocolate Soap.
Oooooh…looks like you could eat them!!
Anyway, we managed to get into town…trundling along slowly. Here are some pictures of places that we frequent in Punta Gorda.
We usually pick up the “chocolate trash” from The Cotton Tree Chocolate Factory. We use the trash for mulch around our trees:
Cotton Tree Chocolate.Chocolate Waste For Our Trees.
And this is Tropic Air; we deliver all our orders nation-wide with Tropic Air because they are reliable, very friendly and they have a flight everyday so orders can be dispatched on the same day (yes…you can get 24 hour delivery in Belize).
Tropic Air Office.
The staff are absolutely lovely:
Tropic Air Staff.
After town, we went to visit our friend Isabel at Cotton Tree Lodge.
It was really muddy and wet driving up to the lodge. At one point, our wheels nearly got stuck…we had to go on 4-wheel drive for the whole time. Boy, what a drive…the heavy rains have really made these back roads difficult to travel in.
MGNews PrimeTime Sunday are proud to bring you the latest news on The Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. We bring you the facts only so that you the viewer can decide for yourself. The fate of the nation of Paradise Piggies will be decided on the 21st of September 2015. Let’s take this week to give all the candidates a chance to have their say and opinion on their fellow candidates.
Mr. Arnold Wang, The Pie Man.
Any Piggie Failing to Comply To Meat Pie Regulations, Gets Metal Pie!
Metal Pie.
The Pie Man Delivers…
The Pie Man.
I will only say this once…I am THE PIE MAN. No Pizza Delivery here.
Pie or Die:
Come Get Your Pies!!
Piggies and Mozzarella Pie, would you like fries with that?
What the Candidates Say:
Mayor Gnome:
There is certainly no stopping Mr. Arnold Wang with his fancy talk and fancy gun. It’s the gun that’s talking if you ask me!
Magical Rodent:
Piffling idiot human. The Universe’s Super Being Piggie will rid this world of scum like him.
Magical Rodent, Mad T Mouse.
The magic is within all of us…
Rodent Magic.
May the force be with all Piggies!
Power to The Piggies!!
Illumination awaits…
Where No Cavy Has Gone Before!
Prepare to excavate to your Freedom!
What the Candidates Say:
Mayor Gnome:
She’s a Rat with Balls of Steel!!
Mr. Arnold Wang:
If they have no money, how are they going to survive? You can’t live on madness and fresh air.
Mayor Gnome, El Diablo Blanco
Pathetic Piggies R Us:
Prepare To Meet Thy Maker!
Do my bidding, piggie puppets:
Tough Love Piggies!
Piddly Piggies, vote for Mayor Gnome:
Vote For Mayor Gnome!
Tuff Luff, Nuff Said.
What the Candidates Say:
Mr. Arnold Wang:
He’s a bit harsh, isn’t he? He needs to lighten up a tad.
Magical Rodent:
Puny Gnome!! We will take over the Gnomes too with Super Piggie!
MGNews has given the candidates the chance to air their views and opinions. What a bunch of bright, intelligent and thoughtful candidates we have this year for the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise pastures.
One of the Munchkin jobs on the farm is to collect coconuts which have fallen to the ground and sprouted. If I don’t keep up with this task, the coconuts form deeply embedded roots into the earth and it eventually gets really tough trying to dig them out of the soil.
Coconut Seedlings.
I have to admit that it isn’t one of my favourite jobs so I had been sadly neglecting it for a while!
Wheel-Barrowing Coconuts…What Fun!!
A few weeks ago, I received an order for a couple of hundred coconuts and I was very happy with this because it would kick start me into gathering the seedlings on a more frequent basis. And so I gathered the coconuts for the order (hot sweaty work) and alas, on the appointed day of pick-up, nobody arrived! I had no contact information and after a few more days of waiting, it did not look like the coconuts would be claimed. So I didn’t think more of it until a few days ago when we met an acquaintance in town who said that he would pick up the coconuts on behalf of this other guy. Well, I was so pleased to hear the news and I said enthusiastically,
” Yes, yes…come and get the coconuts. they’re ready and waiting…anytime!”
Famous last words….
Well anyone who reads our Blog on a regular basis will know that we get to bed by 8pm for our 4am early rise. Well, at 9pm that very night, we were all comfortable and snug in bed when we were rudely awoken by the constant honking of a car horn. We got up thinking that it was the inevitable call of duty and someone needed our doctoring. Gnome managed to get out of the house quicker and dashed through the rain. It was one of those nights that you see in movies with dark ominous signs of a storm brewing. There was thunder and lightning, a gusty wind blowing from the north and the pitter-patter of rain was just starting.
Definitely not a night that anyone in the right mind would be out unless it was of utmost importance…
Gnome talked to the guy at the gate and he then ran back to me as I stepped out of the house and said incredulously,
” He’s come to get the coconuts!”
All I could say was,
“What?!”
The storm was coming so there was no time to get angry or perplexed over the bizarre turn of events. The most sensible thing to do was to get the coconuts as quickly onto this guy’s truck and send him on his merry way. We managed in record time…trying to squeeze as many coconuts into the back pan of the truck alongside a wheelbarrow and shovel! Once we got back inside the house, we had to have a hot drink to calm ourselves down. After a period of silent contemplation, Gnome said,
“Do you think he is out there planting his coconuts tonight?”
At this point there was a loud clap of thunder and the rain came pelting down.
We both imagined this guy with a wheel-barrow of coconuts in the rain. What had possessed him to come at such an ungodly hour of the night and worse still, on a stormy night to collect coconuts? Was it whimsy? Boredom?
I just smiled back at Gnome,
” Tales of The Unexpected…in Belize!”
By the way We do have coconut seedlings for sale from our farm. Check out The Apothecary for pricing.
This is MGNews PrimeTime Sunday bringing you the latest in the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. Last week, we brought you the inside story on Mayor Gnome’s dark and secretive past.
El Diablo Blanco.
Tonight, we bring in the panel of experts to discuss and analyse Mayor Gnome’s inner struggle with good and evil.
Dr. Timothy Beedley MD, Psychiatrist.
Dr. Timothy Beedley MD.
In my medical opinion, I believe Mayor Gnome is suffering from the eponymous syndrome first described by Neilson and Freedman in 1962; The Neilson-Freedman Syndrome has been popularly coined the “Bad Boy Syndrome” by popular media. To put it in Layman’s terms, a “good boy” from a stable, loving family background of medium to upper socio-economic status suddenly loses self-confidence and enters into a deep depression plus/minus delusions or hallucinations. He then joins a social group of young men with “challenged upbringing,” usually of low social economic status. In order to form a bond with this group, he must perform deeds of initiation. These “rites of passage” may involve breaking the law. Mayor Gnome may possibly have suffered from this syndrome when he was oversesas in Australia. The Gnome reference is most likely delusional associated with depression. The recent mood instability of Mayor Gnome has probably been triggered by stress over the up coming Mayoral Elections. I surmise that he is suffering from a delayed Post Traumatic Syndrome related to specific traumatic events in his past.
Mayor Gnome is as much a Gnome as I am an Elf. There is no such thing as a Gnome…or an Elf, for that matter.
Dr. Gerald Walker, Anthropologist and Expert on Gnomes.
Author of the “The Anthropology of the Gnomus Species” and the best-selling popular series “It’s A Gnome’s World.”
Gnomes do exist; maybe not in our human physical plane but they do exist on a different level. I have amassed enough cultural information and richly woven stories to form an intricate understanding of Gnomes. Most of the stories come from human culture, passed from generation to generation through many thousands of years. Details may change, but the constant thread is the existence of these creatures and their character traits remain faithful to them despite the scourges of time and differences in location and story-teller. The stories of the Aboriginal Gnomes of Australia date back tens of thousands of years. They are the oldest surviving race of Gnomes and their stories are ones of stupendous feats over space and time where they commune with Dreamtime spirits of the Outback. It is popular fiction that these Gnomes are aggressive, abusive simpletons. The truth is that that they have superior intellect and knowledge. If Mayor Gnome was actually fortunate enough to have been accepted by these Gnomes, then I take my hat off to him. It is my concern that during that time, he may have communed with a “difficult spirit” which is now the cause of his inner struggle.
The Dichotomy of Good and Evil.
Phew…that’s all very, heavy stodgy stuff!! A bit too hard to digest for MGNews especially when it’s PrimeTime Sunday Family Fun and not The Science Channel! Let’s bring in the piggies and ask them about Mayor Gnome’s troubles.
Good Old Grandma Stumpy:
Grandma Stumpy on the right.
I think that everything is getting a bit out of hand. Mayor Gnome is a Gnome…end of story. Why do you have go digging into his past? We piggies don’t care about the dichotomy whatsits…we care about Mayor Gnome. Stop stirring the wooden spoon, son!
Matilda Piggie:
Mayor Gnome will come good. I can feel it…he makes me gurgle!
Dishawn Piggie:
MGNews is the source of all the malcontent amongst our community; they continue to feed us with mis-information and mis-direction in order to trash our minds and intellect. Enough is enough…I am going underground with Mad T Mouse.
Oscar Piggie:
Boy, what a mad bunch of candidates…with a magical mouse, a gun-wielding maniac and a gnome-gone-crazy . Mad T Mouse is the best of the bad bunch and we haven’t got many screws to work with.
Gorgeous George Piggie:
Paradise Pastures.
My money’s on the meat pies.
Juanita Piggie:
No comment. Makes the sign of the Cross (Catholic Piggie).
Mayor Gnome has made himself unavailable for comment. He did however say to MGNews,”Bugger off, Leave me alone!”
Bugger Off!!
What a cheek! Anyway, tonight’s special was brought to you by MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6Pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Next week, more campaign blitzing from all candidates. The heat is on…only on MGNews PrimeTime Sunday.
It has been about a week since I started taking photographs with my new android phone. Admittedly, it was not the most expensive top of the range phone but at that time, I just wanted a camera to take pictures for the Blog. I should have known that taking high definition pictures would be next to impossible! There is a zoom which just makes things even more blurry (maybe I haven’t got the hang of it yet) and in poor lighting, they look rather dire. In short, although I am pleased that I can achieve my main goal of providing pictures, I feel that the they really fall short of the real thing. I am hoping that the photos will get better as I get used to the new camera…it may be a question of practice and technique!
Meanwhile, here are a few baaaad pictures!! Better to laugh about it..than cry!!
This was a breadfruit hotpot…it is so disappointingly blurry!! I feel too embarrassed to post up the recipe because the picture is so crap! It did taste good though…
Breadfruit Hotpot.
Out of focus akee fruit:
Bad lighting…aaarghhh!
Making Peach Palm Miso.
Please accept my sincere apologies for the poor picture quality!! Since starting this Blog, I have realised that I really enjoy taking photographs; I usually take about 10 to 20 pictures in one day and each picture is a potential story. My plan is to save my pennies up to buy a high quality camera so that I can continue my hobby of taking pictures. Meanwhile, let’s all have some fun with my blurry pictures!!
I originally made this meal at the beginning of the week and was all ready to post up the recipe until I discovered that Gnome had unwittingly erased my photograph.
Double Miso Pan-Fried Chicken. Second Picture.
When I told him that I would have to re-create this dish today, to get a picture, he said rather half heartedly, “Oh dear. That is a shame.”
That is a Shame!
This recipe is so-called because the chicken is marinated in miso before being pan-fried and it is served with miso ketchup. If you follow our blog, you will know that we make buckets and buckets of home-made miso. Because I have so much of it, I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to experiment with this wonderful live food in more creative and innovative ways. In fact, I use miso in all our cooking now instead of salt and soya sauce. The miso adds a distictive umami flavour which adds a whole new dimension to a meal. In this recipe, I used our shiro miso which is made mostly of white rice which has a sweet and mild taste. No flour is used in making our miso so it is also gluten-free.
One More Week. 8 Days and counting. MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. Boy, we are keeling over with excitement.
