Category Archives: Amusing

New Harvests.

October 19, 2015 Munchkin

Hello Everyone!! All of a sudden, it is very, very wet. The air feels really damp and muggy. Still no need to complain; we are getting bountiful water to wash clothes to my heart’s content and I can have plentiful hot showers through-out the day!

The farm continues to give generously and there is always stuff to harvest everyday. The carambola (or starfruit) are bearing; I have to pick them partially green before the birds and the bees get to them.

These are the rogue pumpkins that were missed in “The Hidden Pumpkin Technique” which I described a few weeks ago. The pumpkin patch is still going strong and with these new rains, we are getting a second round of flowering.

In this technique, the pumpkins grow and sink into the tall grass; whilst hidden from the hungry eyes of critters and bugs, they can be left to grow flawlessly without a single burrowed hole or bite-mark.

Oh, and last but not least…banana flowers…

This morning, Gnome cut these down and instructed me to give them to the guinea pigs. I gave him a funny look and said,

“I heard that humans can eat them too!”

Gnome said that he had heard about people eating them in India but he wasn’t convinced about the potential tastiness of the banana flower.

Well, I looked at them and convinced myself that they looked a bit like artichokes and therefore there could be some potential for yumminess. Well, let’s see…tomorrow, I am going to try cooking them. Watch this space for the results!!

Amusing, Belize, Farming

Water Shortage: The Saga Continues!!

October 13, 2015 Munchkin

Hi Everyone!! If you are a regular reader, you may remember that our well pump broke about 6 months ago and we have been relying on rain-water since then. Thankfully we have had rain water without much of a hitch since we live in the district of Belize with the highest rainfall. Coupled with hope, prayers and chorusing with the frogs, water has not been an issue….well, until recently. It has been so dry for 14 days now (this dryness is sooooo rare for this region and we are not in dry season) we are down to about half of a 550 gallon tank only so we are on Red Alert!! Bucket Washes and no showers.

The saga continues…

Early yesterday morning, Gnome noticed water dripping out of a hole in our water tank (our rainwater tank). Remember, there is no water in the well-pump tank. He went over to have a better look and discovered that a nail from the water tower had punctured through the base of the tank and we were fast losing our precious water. With Gnome swiftness, he used a hose-pipe to transfer the water into the empty well tank. Phew!! Thank-you Gnome for noticing…because if he had not noticed the dripping water, we would have no water left by the end of the day.

Okay, so we need rain. And we are looking at the weather report and there are no indications of rain. We are now looking further afield for hopeful signs through frog ribbitting, rain hawks, the man in the shop down the road and whatever takes our fancy.

Still no signs. Arrrrghhhh!!!

We still hope. The man in the shop said,

“It no look like it rain but sometime it come from nowhere!”

In anticipation, Gnome has patched up the water tank to receive rainwater.

Anyone know a good Rain Dance? Munchkin and Gnome are prepared to Boogey On Down!!

Amusing, Belize, Construction

We’re Back On-Line!!

October 7, 2015 Munchkin

Just a quickie to let you know that we are back on-line. We were up at 5am this morning in preparation for the technicians coming to change our antenna. We had to be ready for them because the antenna was attached to a 45 foot pole!!

They told us to receive them at 8am prompt; they arrived at 9.15am. One of the guys had to drive back into town because they forgot the antenna!! Anyway, it took half an hour to change the antenna and three and a half hours to find the signal. They actually ended up lowering the post to 30 feet to get a signal! The signal comes off the main tower in a pyramidal shape so the further you are away from the tower (but still within range) the height of the receiving antenna actually becomes lower. So, now our Internet is working better because we have a good signal!!

Yay!! You will be getting our regular posts again!!

Amusing, Belize

I Need a Desk Lamp!!

October 1, 2015 Munchkin

Hi Everyone!! Gosh…can you believe it…in Belize, I can’t find a simple desk lamp. I am just looking for one of those normal lamps with the bendy neck and on-off push button. Yeah one of those cheap (C&G…Cheap and Good) lamps that you can buy anywhere else but Belize. How frustrating…

The reason why I need one is because I have started hand-sewing out of sheer necessity and I need a desk lamp for better lighting. I am in desperate need of good fitting clothes so I have resorted to buying second-hand clothes and altering them to fit my size and shape.

I think this is a good enough time to talk to you about clothes shopping in Toledo. Any brand new clothes that you buy here are usually really bad quality and made of material like viscose or polyester. In the Tropics, these are horrible to wear because your skin can not breathe through them. On top of this, the fashion is really trashy (yes, call me a prude) with see-through stuff and blouses with too many holes in the wrong places. Also, all trousers (or pants) are low riders and there is no other choice. Personally, the only people who suit these type of trousers are the skinny waif types. 5 foot 2 inch Munchkins, like me, need trousers that actually come up to the waist or else we look like fat squashed-up pears. In short, the clothes that you buy here are for flirting, showing off flesh and accentuating the size of your bottom (they like voluptuous bottoms here) and I am not into that at all!

And so I have resorted to the used clothes stalls. The clothes sold here are usually from the Goodwill stores from the States. So, all you guys out there who are giving away your lovely clothes, in the name of charity, note they are getting sold to us poor buggers in Belize. Tops, shirts and trousers usually go for about $10Bz ($5US) in the seconds market. Mens’ second hand trousers can fetch as high as $20Bz ($10US) and they look like they have been worn to death. I noticed that for a while there was a spate of seconds with sewn on “Dickie’s” labels (but were clearly not Dickies stuff) and because they had that label, they were all being sold at premium prices. And we won’t even mention shoes…not a single pair of decent leather shoes to be found in the whole country of Belize!! Wahhhh!!

Anyway, at least you can find some cotton stuff at the seconds stalls. Oh, and when I find linen, I grab it! Also, there is some classical, elegant stuff so I can at least dress like a doctor if need be. It is pretty embarrassing wearing tarty clothes on a medical house call!! It is certainly not the image that I want to get across…but the funny thing is that it is actually perfectly acceptable to wear a hot little number, whilst doctoring, and so the problem actually lies with me!!

There you are…I have had my little rant and I feel much better for it! Alas, if only I could find a desk lamp…

Amusing, Belize, Fiction, Pets

Paradise Piggies: The Results Are In!!

September 21, 2015 Munchkin

Paradise Pastures, Toledo, Belize:

15 Guinea Pigs eligible to vote (ie. Over the age of 6 weeks).

VOTES:

Mr. Arnold Wang: 1

Magical Rodent: 4

Mayor Gnome: 8

Spoiled Ballot Papers (eaten or chewed up): 2

100% TURN OUT!!

Mayor Gnome Wins with The Majority!!

WELL DONE MAYOR GNOME!!
All Piggies will be celebrating in Paradise Pastures tonight!

Mayor Gnome Says:

Thanks Piggies!!

It is crazy out here in Paradise Pastures with all the whooping, chirping and weeeing. We are totally beside ourselves with the joy and excitement!!

And…we haven’t finished yet with all the news.
Mayor Gnome has appointed Magical Rodent as Deputy Mayor!!

Magical Rodent Appointed Deputy Mayor of Paradise Pastures.

Mayor Gnome:

I like Magical Rodent. She may be mad but her heart’s in the right place. Besides, she’s got audacity and guts of steel…my kind of mouse!

Magical Rodent:

Hmmmm…position accepted, albeit reluctantly.

Any last words from Arnold Wang?

Sounds like there will be a sequel…

Amusing, Belize, Fiction, Pets

Paradise Piggies: Newsflash!!

September 20, 2015 Munchkin

YOU won’t believe it!! WE can’t believe it!! MGNews PrimeTime Sunday brings you an exclusive news flash.

Mayor Gnome has changed his campaign!! The day before the Mayoral Elections, no less!!

Here it is guys:

THIS IS A PAID ADVERT!!!

MAYOR GNOME PROMISES: FREEDOM, FRESH GRASS AND BEYOND.

I Guarantee 5pm Tickling Time For Toddlers!! — I Guarantee 5pm Tickling Time For All Toddlers!

MAYOR GNOME PROMISES: 5PM TICKLING TIME FOR ALL PIGGIE TODDLERS EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR!!

Well, this certainly is a change of heart from Mayor Gnome. Tough love has been replaced by promise of love and fresh air. Mayor Gnome had done a complete U-turn!!
It looks like GOOD prevailed and Mayor Gnome has won the battle against EVIL!

MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. What a whizz…we can’t get enough of this election. This is awesome beyond all proportions. Out of this world!!

Don’t Forget MGNews PrimeTime Monday Mayoral Election 21st September 2015, Paradise Pastures. 6Pm Central/Mountain Piggie Time.

THE RESULTS WILL BE IN!!

Amusing, Belize, Fiction, Pets

Paradise Piggies: Reader’s Poll Results!

September 20, 2015 Munchkin

Reader’s Poll Results and Last Day before The Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures!!

MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. We are all in a tizz!! We are soooo excited, we can’t contain ourselves. The suspense is killing us. We look back at all the campaigns, the thrills and the spills, the good and the evil, and twists and the turns, it has indeed been a roller-coaster ride all the way to Election Day.

We are proud to present to you the results of our Reader’s Poll.

Who is the best candidate?

Mayor Gnome 66.67% .

Magical Rodent 33.33% .

Mr Arnold Wang 0%

So, is the Reader’s Poll a reflection of the votes on Paradise Pastures?

We are literally on the edge of our seats…

Who is it going to be?

Results Tomorrow 21st September 2015, MGNews PrimeTime Monday. 6Pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.

You can’t miss the Election of the Year!!

Amusing, Belize

Truck Chasin’ in Punta Gorda!!

September 16, 2015 Munchkin

Munchkin and Gnome have been super cool and happen’ today chasin’ trucks through the mean streets of Punta Gorda Town in Belize. Yes, readers, you can indeed live your life vicariously through the exciting exploits of M&G!!

Munchkin and Gnome Mission of the Day:

Find an unmarked white truck driving through Punta Gorda Town between the hours of 0900 and Anytime Now (Belizean Mountain Time). Secure 6 bottles of orange oil from the truck.

Tip offs: Driver goes by the name of Eugene. Able to procure the mobile number of truck driver but here in Belize, nobody answers their phone if they do not recognise caller ID. So, no chance of him actually answering the phone.

Munchkin and Gnome at 0900 Hours:

Detective Munchkin enquired at the Chinese Supermarket “James Shop” and asked if they had seen the white truck.

The Chiney Girl replied in perfect Kriol,

“Da truck no di come yet.”

Munchkin and Gnome at 0930 Hours:

Circled the mean streets of Punta Gorda in search of the white truck. No sign of any big white vehicles.

Munchkin and Gnome at 1000 Hours:

Watched and waited like hawks ready to pounce on their prey. Parked vehicle on the edge of town waiting for the appearance of the “white truck.”

Munchkin and Gnome at 1030 Hours:

Munchkin: Ooohhh!! White Truck!! White Truck!!

As soon as the truck passed, Gnome trailed behind in silence and anticipation. Always keeping a distance so that the truck driver would not get wind of the quiet truck chase. Meanwhile, Munchkin was on the edge of her seat brimming with excitement at the thought of “the catch.”

The truck finally came to a stop and Gnome surreptitiously slowed down and parked quite a ways behind to avoid detection.

Oh…but lo and behold:

Wrong one…this unmarked truck was selling eggs from Spanish Lookout. What a red herring!!

Munchkin and Gnome at 1100 Hours:

Back to the secret waiting spot.

Finally a second truck flashed by and they were hot on their heels.

When the truck finally stopped, Munchkin accosted the driver and he confirmed his name as Eugene. Six bottles of orange oil were procured outside the Jose Maria Supermarket. There was a silent exchange of money and Munchkin walked away cleanly with the goods secured. Operation successful.

So you might have found this true story funny but this is the reality in Belize (at least here in Punta Gorda). Wholesale trucks from Belize City, Spanish Lookout and Stann Creek have designated days in which they bring their goods down to Punta Gorda. Organisation of delivery of products is precarious at best and for all intents and purposes, practically non-existent. So, if you want something in particular from a wholesale truck, you need to go Truck Chasin’.

Amusing, Belize, Our Products, Soap

Chocolate Artisan Soap Gallery.

September 15, 2015 Munchkin 1 Comment

We have been busy little bees over the last 6 months or so making Chocolate Artisan Soaps for the new tourist season which starts around November. Here are a collection of pictures to show Gnome’s artistic expression…it is the Italian in him!!

An Artistic Tumble of Chocolate Artisan Soaps. Sheer Indulgence. What Every Woman Secretly Wants!!

Soft Midnight Tones for the New Season:

Add Panache and Flair To Your Bathroom:

Dark Chocolate, Milk Chocolate and White Chocolate. Delicious and Seductive Warm Colours.

The “Must Have” Chocolate Artisan Soaps. Sets Aside Your Bathroom From The Rest.

Live Life To The Max..Maximal Velocity With Chocolate Soaps.

Truly Casa Mascia, Truly You.

Bathroom Bliss. Gnome: The Style Guru!!

Don’t Forget To Vote For Your Favourite Candidate For The Mayoral Elections 2015!!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Food, Plants

Hidden Pumpkin Technique.

September 14, 2015 Munchkin

We have found a great way of growing pumpkins without the headache of caterpillars boring holes into them and all manner of insects laying their eggs in the growing fruit. Previously, we grew our pumpkins “high and dry” on beds so that we would be able to spot them for harvest. Unfortunately, this also meant that that all the other critters could see them too and we had all sorts of problems with infestations.

Rather fortuitously, a pumpkin patch grew out of a voluntary plant on the ground and it has grown into a monster.

The surrounding perennial peanut and grass render the vegetables virtually undetectable to all. This is why we have called it the Hidden Pumpkin Technique. The pumpkins are deeply embedded in the grass and when picked, they are beautiful and pristine with no signs of insect damage.

All you need to do is to find a Munchkin to walk through the patch every day to try to spot any harvestable pumpkin. It can be a lot of fun because they are actually very hard to find and requires the keen eye of a forager.

We have been picking young pumpkins…at this stage, they taste just like courgettes (or zucchini).

I rarely allow the pumpkins to fully mature because I distinctly dislike hacking into the tough shell…it is so much work! They are so much sweeter when they are green and can be steamed like a vegetable.

We have been mostly eating pumpkin!!

Remember…you can still vote for your Favourite Candidate for the Mayoral Election 2015 for Paradise Piggies!!

Casa Mascia Apothecary

Category Archives: Amusing

New Harvests.

Water Shortage: The Saga Continues!!

We’re Back On-Line!!

I Need a Desk Lamp!!

Paradise Piggies: The Results Are In!!

Paradise Piggies: Newsflash!!

Paradise Piggies: Reader’s Poll Results!

Truck Chasin’ in Punta Gorda!!

Chocolate Artisan Soap Gallery.

Hidden Pumpkin Technique.

Everything Handmade in Belize.