Category Archives: Pets

Amusing, Belize, Construction, Fiction, Pets

Paradise Piggies: Mayor Gnome Restores Confidence.

TogetherAfter last week’s tragic case in which three young guinea pigs were snatched from the gated community, life has not been the same for the citizens of Paradise Pastures.

Mayor Gnome offered his condolences for the two lost babies.  A gift of fresh grass was given to the community:

A Gift of Grass For The Piggies.
A Gift of Grass For The Piggies.

This was not enough to sweeten the Piggies as all hell broke loose soon after with squabbling, squeaking, squealing and general mis-conduct.  Two days ago, the surviving baby guinea pig tragically passed away:

Piggy Chloe.
Piggy Chloe.

Mayor Gnome’s attempt at a Filibuster was met by angry Piggie wild fire.  The community of Paradise Piggies demanded immediate action and resolution.

Our Mayor Gnome has come good and restored confidence to the Paradise Piggies!  He has built 4 new luxury condominiums and one of them is the maternity ward:

Piggie Maternity Ward.
Piggie Maternity Ward.
Official Piggie Inspection of Condos.
Official Piggie Inspection of Condos.

The Piggies are absolutely delighted by this new and hurried construction and they feel that they can “re-build” the community from here.  There was a heart-felt gurgle of pleasure when they inspected the facility.  And, in addition to this, Mayor Gnome has installed a delinquent “time out” area to house hooligan piggies.  This is called Southpointe:

Southpointe Delinquent Suite.
Southpointe Delinquent Suite.

Hooray for Mayor Gnome!!  Our Hero!!

He Gets Things Done.
He Gets Things Done.
Amusing, Belize, Fiction, Pets

Piggie Paradise: Tragedy and Fortune in One Day.

Munchkin.in.the.WindIn the early hours of Thursday morning, on the 19th of February, foul play was afoot and a heinous crime was committed at Paradise Pastures, the gated community for Guinea Pigs.  A one foot deep hole was dug beneath the cage and three newly born piggies were snatched from their cradle.

Paradise Piggies.
Paradise Piggies.

Gnome was at the Scene of the Crime a few hours later; the scene was one of devastation and distress.

Scene of the Crime.
Scene of the Crime.

Paradise Pastures was quickly secured and placed in a protected area.  Gnome and Munchkin combed the surrounding land looking for the remains of the three missing baby piggies.  And, alas the diligence was paid off as one live piggie was found, unharmed and safe.

One Baby Piggy Found Alive and Well.
One Baby Piggy Found Alive and Well.

Tragedy and fortune came hand in hand on this fateful day.  Meanwhile, the criminal has been apprehended and remanded to custody with bail set at $500.

Shaneeka-Doggy, Guilty as Charged.
Shaneeka-Doggy, Guilty as Charged.

The piggies at Paradise Pastures are up in arms over this crime.  They have petitioned Mayor Gnome to build a secure “Mother and Baby” facility.

Gnome.at.DeskMayor Gnome must concede to their demands or else he might find himself bang in the middle of a Piggy Riot.  And we don’t want that, do we?!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

The Joys of Brimstone and Lime.

Gnome.Looking.Serious

Today was a good day to make some lime sulphur, a smelly concoction that has multiple uses as a fruit tree anti-fungal and as a pet dip for things like mange and ringworm.

One of my friends is trying to grow grapes, which in this climate are very susceptible to a plethora of fungal diseases; he asked me to make some lime sulphur for him since I am a Gnome and Gnomes like messing around with smelly stuff.  Also, I am a Catholic Gnome, and obviously Brimstone, Smelliness, Catholic and Gnome are a match made in Heaven (hee, hee, hee…)!

Anyway, you need sulphur or brimstone…

Flowers of Sulphur.
Flowers of Sulphur.

And you need white lime…

White Lime.
White Lime.

And you boil them together…

Boiling Sulphur and Lime together.
Boiling Sulphur and Lime together.

…to get Lime Sulphur.

It is dirty, smelly work and you need to be careful as it is quite poisonous and caustic though the sulphurous fumes of brimstone are very soul-cleansing!!

After boiling for a while it looks like this…

Lime Sulphur Transformation Complete.
Lime Sulphur Transformation Complete.

…a dark red-brown-rotten-egg-smelling liquid…

If you want to make your own…look at my recipe in Bored-In-Belize:  Making Lime Sulphur.

Until later, take care!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

The Wart of Evil Part II.

Gnome.SmilingIts been a few days now since we tied off the Wart of Evil.  As we predicted, it has dried up and our Gander can see from that side of his face a lot better…

The Wart of Evil Has Been Removed!!
The Wart of Evil Has Been Removed!!

We think that he is a lot happier because he cooperated fully without honking or biting while we cut it off…

The Wart of Evil.
The Wart of Evil.

It is all supposed to be a bit of a joke but I swear to you that our goosie has had a personality transformation and has turned into a happy-go-lucky, loveble sort of fellow.  He now hangs out with our duckies and acts as a body guard to them, there is no more pecking and bossing around.

I’ve put the Wart of Evil into a vial and am in the process of pickling it in alcohol.  The transformation into the Wart Against Evil (TM) has begun.  I will update you once it is ready and make it available for your personal use (probably in the New Year, once I get the Shop finally going)!

In the mean time, be safe from Evil!!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

The Wart of Evil.

Gnome.Straight.Smile

Our pet Gander has, over the past year, been growing a pedunculated polyp from the side of its face, just above its beak.  It looks like so…

Our Gander Growing a Wart of Evil.
Our Gander Growing a Wart of Evil.

Over this period, we have found him to have become more bossy, angry and violent, pecking and honking at the dogs, the cat, the ducks, stray children…everybody actually!  As a result, we affectionately called his growing protrusion the “Wart of Evil,” and invented a little ritual where we would rub the wart three times with our left thumb and then with our right thumb whenever we had one of those days that didn’t seem to go right (you know, those crappy days when no matter what you try and do everything goes to pot!).

Well, today we decided to start the process of removal for this evil emanation and with one of us holding the gander, the other used some dental floss to tie it off so that it will dry up and drop off in a few days.  We used the same technique which is used to castrate animals with a strong rubber band.  It is much nicer and less painful than trying to snip it off with scissors or a knife as once the circulation is cut off it goes numb and starts to drop off.

In a few days the “Wart of Evil” should be in such a condition that we should be able to cut it off without hurting the goose.  Our plan is to pickle it in rum and turn it into the well known protective charm called “The Wart Against Evil (TM)!”   It will be available for purchase in the Talismonger section of our shop once it has been tested and we are sure of its effectiveness.

Be safe from Evil!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

Can The Piggies Do It?

Avatar.GnomeIt has been forty-eight hours since the piggies took up residence in their new home and it doesn’t seem like any of them have figured out how to get to the delicious food that is growing just under their feet!  I had promised myself that I would give them a week before doing anything more but I just was not able to resist…

So, this morning, I started by making the hole to the ramp bigger…like so…

Ramp With Enlarged Hole.
Ramp With Enlarged Hole.

Next, I tried to tempt the piggies with a bit of juicy produce to give them some incentive…

Tempting Piggies to Go Down the Ramp.
Tempting Piggies to Go Down the Ramp.

And here is one of them almost getting the idea…

Almost there...you can do it!
Almost there…you can do it!

That particular piggie managed to get all the way down and is now chomping away in paradise.  Unfortunately, none of the others managed to figure it out.  Both Munchkin and I have decided that I will have to make more ramps, say like five more…

Cheers…

Belize, Construction, Farming, Pets

Piggies Have a New Home!

Gnome.Straight.Smile

I’m playing catch-up today…the Internet connection failed for twenty-four hours (this is not that unusual where we are) but it is back again this morning (aaaah, couldn’t check Stats for a whole day…this is way too addictive!!!).

Managed to finish the Guinea Pig Cage after five days of work.  The finished cage picture is going to go under this paragraph but I couldn’t get a good picture this morning since the sun is in the way right now, so I’m going to plug it in later when I can get a better one.  It shows all the welded wire in place, the piggies themselves and the two sheets of roofing; one metal for shade and one out of plastic to let some sunlight in (so they don’t become Vitamin D deficient!).

The Famous Turtle-Blancanoux-Bel-Campo-Wild-Orchid Hotel/Spa/Resort for the Discerning Piggie in its full glory ($2000 per night!).
The Famous Turtle-Blancanoux-Bel-Campo-Wild-Orchid-Eco-Agro-Tourist-Rainforest-Canopy Hotel/Spa/Resort for the Discerning Piggie in its full glory ($2000 per night!).

The piggies seem happy but they haven’t figured out how to use the “stairway/ramp” yet, so they are staying on the second floor, and consequently eating the huge amount of grass we have to keep on collecting.  I’m going to see how long it is going to take them to figure out that they have forty square feet of delicious, high-protein perennial peanut (Arachis pintoi) twelve inches under them.

Satisfied Customers at our New Resort, enjoying the organic, farm fresh produce for dinner.
Satisfied Customers at our New Resort, enjoying the organic, farm fresh produce for dinner.

This little project that has kept me out of trouble for the best part of a week is going to go into our Bored-In-Belize-Projects under the Taj-Ma-Piggie Page.

Oh yeah, I’ve reorganized some of the pages in the Library so that they are easier to see and find:  Mushrooms have their own heading and Philosophy, About our Handmade Products and Acknowledgements are all under our Product Descriptions now.

Until later…

Belize, Construction, Farming, Pets

Keep Going for the Piggies.

Gnome.Smiling

It has been the third day of work to try and get the Piggie Cage done.  Wasn’t as productive this time as it started to rain and there wasn’t quite enough cut lumber; I ended up trying to attach welded wire on to the front…I don’t really have the right tools to work with it (except tin-snips), which made it a painful and prolonged process of fitting.  I was grateful when it started to rain so that I had an excuse to stop.  But we must soldier on for the Piggies!!

Here is the photo for the third day of construction…

Bad Weather and Union Trouble Has Delayed Construction of the Piggie Four Seasons Hotel ($1100 per night)!
Bad Weather and Union Trouble Has Delayed Construction of the Piggie Four Seasons Hotel ($1100 per night); Riots Are Breaking Out in Piggie-opolis and the Mayor Has Been Threatened!

The saw is going to have to come out again for the fourth day and  hopefully the weather will allow further work to be done.  The cage is starting to get heavier each day and it will be interesting to see if it is as “movable” as I would like, especially once the Piggies are in it.

Happy Sunday to all.

Belize, Construction, Farming, Pets

Piggies Need a New Home.

Avatar.GnomeIt has started getting cold today; I suppose it is about 20C (from the usual 35-40) but it feels like it is below zero.  My feet are cold, I’ve got to wear a wooly hat and the only way to keep warm is to move around.  I can’t believe I actually am living in the Tropics.

With that aim in mind, I finally started on the new and improved, movable, self-feeding Guinea Pig Cage.  The frame is made with 1″ Nargusta reduced from a 2″ by 4″ with a table saw.  It is four feet by 10 feet and will be two floors.  I haven’t decided wether I’m going to call it the MGM Grand, or the Bellagio, or Bel Campo, or maybe the Wild Orchid…

Side View of Future Piggie Five Star Accommodation, $900 per night!
Side View of Future Piggie Five Star Accommodation, $900 per night!

Cheers and I hope you feel warmer than I do.