Category Archives: Amusing

More Rain Please!!

Munchkin.Back.ViewWe have been waiting for the “Iguana Rains” for two days now.  At 5pm today we had a slight drizzle but not enough to fill two large water tanks.  C’mon then…let’s have a downpour, if not for us, but for the sake of the iguana population; they need wet ground to lay their eggs:

Water!! Yes please!!
Water!! Yes please!!

The Zazen duckies are also calling for rains through space and time; they need clean water for daily ablutions in the Zen Garden…it is imperative that the dabbling duckies are cleansed for meditation…

Water For The Zen Pond.
Water For The Zen Pond.

And the Paradise Piggies (aka Jedi Piggies, aka Ewok piggies…not officially, mind you) have jumped on the band wagon and are weee-weee-ing for water too.

It’s all in the name of a good cause!

Water Please!!
Water Please!!

Anyone know a Rain Dance that is guaranteed to work…100% scientifically proven, double-blind trial?!

Lining Up The Bananas For The Iguana Rains!

Munchkin.with.UmbrellaWe’ve been working all weekend to get our new gutters up to catch the rains tomorrow.

Working On Guttering.
Working On Guttering.

AccuWeather have forecasted rains for Monday and Tuesday.  Metaphorically speaking, we were lining up “bananas” because, if you are familiar with Belizean construction, nothing is straight.  Gnome used a laser level (yes, ha-ha…what a joke!) to line up the gutters but discovered that he had to strip it back down because the roof was not straight.  After much sweating and roof gymnastics, he lined the gutters  against the line of the roof which ended up having a slight downward angle to the right anyway.  This is actually quite amusing because the downward spout used to point towards the left!  That’s why the gutter leaked in so many places!

So, Gnome had to climb on the roof and perform all manner of gymnastics to get the gutters up…

Gnome On The Roof.
Gnome On The Roof.

At one point he said,

“It’s scary up here!!”

It's Scary Up On The Roof!
It’s Scary Up On The Roof!

And I replied,

“Yeah, it’s scary looking up at you!”

All the hard work has been done…now we just have to wait to see if it actually rains!  This rain which usually occurs once during the dry season is known locally as the “Iguana Rains” because it is supposed to soften the ground for iguanas to lay their eggs.

Go on then…time to lay eggs!

Iguana.
Iguana.

No Such Thing As Easy…

Together.PointingIt has been soooo hot and dry lately…as they say here in Belize, “The heat punish me.”  The other morning, Gnome left the house and said that he was going to mow around the farm.  He was gone for a fair bit and I didn’t hear the motor starting so I went to look for him.  Well, he certainly wasn’t mowing because the cat had nicely settled down for the day!

Cat On Mower.
Cat On Mower.

I did finally find him with the fruit picker getting some sapodillas down.  It was only 8am and we were both sweating profusely.  I looked at him all hot and bothered and I said,

Poor Gnome!
Poor Gnome!

“Let’s do something easier today!”

And so we picked a basket of pigeon pea together and podded them.  We thought it would be easier!!

Pigeon Pea.
Pigeon Pea.

Podding this  amount took two hours!!  Pea Sheller Jr (handmade in the USA) doesn’t work…we tried!  We have to do it by hand:

Podded Pigeon Pea.
Podded Pigeon Pea.

Each pea you see represents one drop of sweat!!  This one is definitely not for sale.  It beats mowing in the dry season but not by far!!

Zazen Soap!!

Together.Sea.of.TranquilitySo what’s our latest tout…or clout?  Not only do we have Zazen duckies but we have Zazen soap!  I have noticed that at some point, when we have done enough hours of an activity (Yes that 10000 hours thing), it evolves into an art.  The other day, we had a moment of clarity whilst mixing up soap; we realised that by clearing our head of the internal dialogue (you know…the usual blah blah blah voice in your head) the soap mixes perfectly with no hitches.  In contrast to this, when we are feeling chaotic, we get early thickening of the mixture and lumpy bits  so that the soap has to be poured in haste.  There you go…The Zen of Soap making by Munchkin and Gnome!!

Look at this soap…it is smooth and silky like custard:

Zazen Soap!
Zazen Soap!

Stacks of Chocolate Vanilla Cookie Soap. “Right Thought, Right Action” Soap!!

Chocolate Vanilla Cookie Soap.
Chocolate Vanilla Cookie Soap.

…better than maximal velocity soap.   You can’t get better than Zazen!

Lime-Sulphur Pet Dip At The Farm Store!

Hello Everyone!!!  We have the wonderful smell of brimstone pervading through our house since Gnome has made up a fresh batch of Lime-Sulphur Pet Dip for The Farm Store.  Ahhh…like the Catholic Gnome that he is he feels spiritually cleansed and renewed with the richly aromatic vapours of sulphur!

The High Velocity Cleansing Power of Sulphur.
The High Velocity Cleansing Power of Sulphur.

So, get your Lime-Sulphur Pet Dip at the Farm Store in Punta Gorda.  Guaranteed to work regardless of religion of pet.

Mr. Brian Cho at The Farm Store.
Mr. Brian Cho at The Farm Store.

Ask Brian at The Farm Store.  Use it for the treatment of Mange, Fleas, Ticks and Ringworm.  If you can’t remember the cumbersome long name of the product, just ask for “Presidente.”  You’ll know why if you look at at our cheap budget packaging.

Presidente Lime-Sulphur Pet Dip.
Presidente Lime-Sulphur Pet Dip.

What’s Happening?

Munchkin.Sitting.DownHello Everyone!!  I have not been so regular with writing  the Blog lately due to…the weather of all things!  It has been dull with thick grey clouds which block the sunlight.  When it gets like that I just feel, “Ugh!” and Gnome reacts with, “Oh, dear!!”  and then we start a fine merry-go-round of ranting and complaining!

Munchkin.Another.Funny.Shot

Thank goodness the sun is out today and the mood has lifted.  I feel more inspired to write about our usual Munchkin and Gnome activities.

We have been making a marathon run of soap.  This takes the whole day with mixing and pouring in the morning and cutting (Gnome) and polishing (Munchkin) in the evening.  It is a good activity to do when you want to stay out of trouble!

Our Soap.
Our Soap.

Gnome started a mini project to grow watercress:

Hydroponic Watercress.
Hydroponic Watercress.
Preparing Watercress Cuttings.
Preparing Watercress Cuttings.

And I made lotus paste mochi balls today!

Lotus Paste Mochi Balls.
Lotus Paste Mochi Balls.

Yum!!  These were the mochi balls that I had promised Gnome for Chinese New Year which he didn’t get because I decided, rather inconveniently, to go on a diet plonk in the middle of Chinese celebrations.  I am feeling a bit happier about my weight so I made the belated mochi balls to celebrate a good day together!

How Many Zazen Duckies Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Together.PointingAnswer: None.  Zazen Duckies carry their own light.

Zazen Duckies.
Zazen Duckies.

Yes, the Zazen Duckies are meditating under the dappled shade of the kenip tree.  They have even made a nesting spot out of old century plants…completely ignoring the modern luxury nests built to international ISO quality standards.  The Duckies are doing are it “the organic way.”

Oh, what’s that funny noise….

Oi!!  WEEEE WEEEEE!!! What about us??!  Has Mayor Gnome forgotten about us?!!”

Oi What about Us?
Oi What about Us?

Mayor Gnome’s reply:

“Personally I don’t think any of you have a clue about spiritual intent but I am willing to give you a chance.  Mayor Gnome always gives chances…get ready for the big move to the Zen Garden!”

Mayor Gnome Shows Grace.
Mayor Gnome Shows Grace.

“…oh, and by the way, I contacted George Lucas…you can’t change your name to the Jedi Piggies.”

The Piggies:

“Can we change to the Ewok Piggies instead, then?”

Ewok Piggies?
Ewok Piggies

Looking For Love.

Another.Munchkin.Ugly.MonsterOur Goosie has finally given us permission to place an ad for him in this  Lonely Heart’s post.  His long term partner died three years ago of death-by-doggie and he now thinks that it is time to seek a new partner.

Let's Riot!!
Let’s Riot!!

Goosie is looking for a longterm female goose for fun, chaos and good times.  Also considering starting a family.

He has kindly given us his profile:

Name: Martin AKA Evil Goosie

Star Sign: Aries

Likes: Likes to peck small animals and children.  Likes to play “pinch the dog leg.”

Dislikes: People and dogs…actually has a disdain for all living things especially if cute and fluffy.

Food: Likes all yellow things including bananas, corn and velveta cheese.  Claims he is vegetarian but steals and eats chicken feet.

Political Allignment: Strong Anarchist tendencies.  Likes chaos,destruction and mayhem.

Religion: Discordianism.

Favourite quote: “Kill, Crush, Destroy.”

Favourite Film: Fight Club

Relevant Medical History: Wart of Evil removed.  Otherwise Fertile.

All applicants must be Geese.  Please send two passport photos with application.

Elixir Tasting With Dandelion Chocolate.

Liqueur.Tasting.TogetherOn Monday evening we had an Elixir Tasting with Dandelion Chocolate, a company from California.  Greg D’Alesandre heads the group every year at Cotton Tree Lodge.  This year’s tasting was much the same with general fun, laughs and disruption (of course!) from Greg.  We attempted a “controlled brawl” under medical supervision (Ha-Ha!).  😉

Here are some pictures (sorry the “flash” on my phone is quite non-existent).

Elixir Tasting With Dandelion Group.
Elixir Tasting With Dandelion Group.

This is Greg intensely scrutinising an Elixir:

Greg From Dandelion.
Greg From Dandelion.

The Elixir Tasting was a success.  Our gauge was the general noise level and Drunken “I Love You, Guys!!”

The Cacao Fruit Elixir was of great interest to everyone since the group are here specifically on a chocolate tour.  Greg kept on murmuring  about a Fireball Whisky and Ginger Ale all through the tasting.  Apparently he thinks that the Lemongrass Elixir goes very well with ginger ale.  And the Fireball…hmmm…not sure if that was just an obscure comment about the cacao liqueur?!

Cacao Fruit Elixir.
Cacao Fruit Elixir.

Zen Duckie Coup Is Ready!

Together

The Zen Garden is ready for the Zazen duckies  and they are just in time for a Full Moon Meditation.

Happy Duckies!
Happy Duckies!

What perfect timing!  The duckies wish to thank Mayor Gnome for his superb workmanship and stamina.

Mayor Gnome.
Mayor Gnome.

The Duckie Monastery is defined by specially chosen rocks and every single rock in the centrally placed pond was hand-picked and laid down by Mayor Gnome himself.  Within the grounds century plants have been placed at each corner and there is a  beautiful south-facing kenip tree which will provide dappled shade for meditation in the afternoon.

Zen Garden For Duckies.
Zen Garden For Duckies.

The duckies are very pleased and are ready for their 12 hour marathon meditation:

“We are ready to contemplate the meaning of life.”