Category Archives: Amusing

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

Goosie Galore!!

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This story started yesterday morning when we woke up at our usual 5am time, all bleary eyed and half asleep trying to block out  the incessant morning gobbling of the turkey.   I wasn’t too sure what was going on…rubbing my eyes wearily,  I recall that we had been watching a Scottish film the night before (The Legend of Barney Thomson with Robert Carlyle which was incidentally based in Glasgow).  This is what happened first thing: Gnome started talking with a broad Scottish accent.  He wasn’t putting it on intentionally either…

I just guffawed at him and said that I needed a wee cup of tea before I could comprehend why he was talking like that.  Gnome exclaimed,

“What do you mean?  I’m just talking normally!!”

After finding some semblance of normality with my Yorkshire tea, it suddenly dawned on me that Gnome and I spend every waking (and un-waking) moment together, with sparse company in-between, and he has got so used to my accent that he has adopted it unconsciously.  It did occur to me that on many occasions, he has been mistaken for a Scot.  I usually pipe up and say defensively, in a strong “can’t mess with me” Scottish accent,

“Hey hang on a minute!!  I’m the Scottish one.”

It makes me laugh when people get awfully confused because I look Chinese (Cantonese) and I come out with such a rough accent. Ha-Ha!!

Anyway, I thought Gnome’s Scottish accent was pretty good and that’s something coming from a Glaswegian.  I then proceeded to challenge him and I said (think of me talking in my usual accent):

“Well, son, you might be able to do Scottish-Glaswegian, but can you do Scottish-Sean Connery-style??!!”

Gnome said,

“Well, I’ll have to watch some GoldFinger with Pussy Galore and practise some James Bond lines….”

He didn’t manage to finish the sentence because all of a sudden there was a tremendous amount of goosie noise coming from behind the house.

We ran outside and saw that all the geese were surrounding a setting goose (May Jones; one of the Jonesy Girls).  This goose had decided to make her nest in some long grass about 15 yards behind our house.  Since we didn’t want to move her (we’ve had failures with kidnapping and re-location) we decided to leave her alone.  Gnome got to her first and then shouted at me to come quickly.

Mama and Goosies.

This what we saw. Three cute fluffed up goosies hiding behind mama!

I couldn’t help it and I said amusingly,

“Ooooh….Goosie Galore!!!”

Gnome replied,

“It shertainly sheems sho, Mish Moneypenny!!”

in a mock Sean Connery accent.

Amusing, Belize, Construction

Dry Season Work.

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Hello There!!  The Easter weekend was cold and wet so it kinda allowed  an enforced rest.  Then Monday came and nothing came out of Monday.  Mondays can be write off a lot of the time, I’ve noticed.  I personally think that the beginning of the week should start Tuesday!

Anyway, we started Tuesday.  We are trying to do all the tidying up and construction that we had stored up for the dry weather.

Firstly, the tree that fell on the roof of the house (about 8 months ago) which has been perching precariously over the Internet antenna, was removed.  We had been waiting to buy a chainsaw (because our cheapo one broke…it was a luminous green and purple one and looked like a Fisher Price toy!).  Just as an aside, I usually start Gnome with cheap tools so that he learns to use them without getting worried about wear and tear and breakage.  Once he shows that he actually knows how to use the tool, we graduate onto more expensive tools.

Well, we haven’t got the good chainsaw yet!  So, Gnome had to take the tree down, traditional-style with a machete.

Cutting Down Fallen Tree.

With the usual one Gnome heroics, the tree was cut down, pulled to the side and cut into pieces.

Moving swiftly on, we (Gnome actually, I do all the cleaning up after) has taken the back wall off the house to replace with zinc because it is water-proof and sturdier.  With all this messing around at the back of the house, we had a better chance to intensely scrutinise the wooden posts that were holding up the stairs.  We knew they were rotting and we had to fix them…sometime.  The posts had actually rotted right through and the stairs were being held up by…I don’t know… magic and air.  Anyway, the stairs were pulled out and now replaced with a ladder (Ha-Ha).  Also, the posts holding up the door are rotting through!

It’s funny because the cat comes up to the house from the back stairs and we were both worried that he wouldn’t be able to get into the house in the usual way.  The cat didn’t have a problem with the ladder…of course!!  Savvy cats can get up and down ladders!!

Savvy Cat.

So, today, instead of getting the zinc up, Gnome has to cut extra pieces of wood to hold the door up!

Yes, the place is falling apart but we must save the sinking ship!!

Amusing, Belize, Pets

Sunday Plumbing and Goosies.

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There’s certainly no rest for Gnome even though it’s the Easter weekend.  The sink got completely blocked up yesterday so this morning his first chore was to fix it.  He was really nice about it and took the the plumbing apart and sucked up all the garbage (it was really quite horrible) and lo and behold, he found  a wooden chopstick inside the sink trap!

He held the chopstick up in the air and looked at me incredulously:

“Darling, how did you get a chopstick down the sink?”

How embarrassing…I really don’t know how it happened and when it happened!  At that point, Gnome felt justified in putting his two cents worth,

“You’re lucky we don’t need to call in a plumber to do this for you…because they probably wouldn’t come out for the holiday weekend!  And, most probably they wouldn’t bother coming out for a chopstick emergency!”

Yeah I know.  I feel really silly and sheepish and I still don’t know how a chopstick got into the U-bend.

Anyway, I must get over this silliness and show you our lovely little goosies.  I am teaching then to eat their greens:

“Eat your greens!!”

Double Goosie!

After they have eaten and pooped, I let them sit on my lap (while they fall asleep and make whistling noises).

Sleeping Goosies.

Spending quality time with the little ones on Easter Sunday!!  They are an absolute joy!!

Lovely Goosies.
Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

Sulphur and Goosie Trouble!!

Gnome has been boiling up sulphur and lime for our Lime-Sulphur XXX Pet Dip For Mange, Fleas, Ticks and Ringworm.

Boiling Sulphur and Lime together.

Available at the Farmstore in Punta Gorda, Toledo by the way.  Just ask for Presidente…for Pets.  You will know why once you see the bottles because we are recycling old Presidente beer bottles:

Lime-Sulphur Pet Dip.

He’s making it on a kerosene stove on the veranda which has been inadvertently converted into yet another work space…not fit for people…he does it on purpose so that we can’t  invite anyone around:

“errh…sorry folks you can’t come round because I’m boiling sulphur today…sorry about the inconvenience…maybe another day when I’m not boiling sulphur!!”

Today the sulphur concoction boiled over so there was a very strong eggy smell pervading the veranda, the house and our senses.  Gnome loved it and as I have previously mentioned he is a Catholic Gnome so he feels thoroughly cleansed when he plays around with sulphur.  He said to me, in a rather a playful manner,

“Don’t cry over spilled sulphur my dear…this will get rid of the snakes…the evil eye…and bad spirits…I’m giving the house a thorough cleansing!”

Well, what could I say?  One can not go against the word of a Catholic Gnome!

Okay, we also have more goosie trouble.  Our white goosie (we call her January Jones) has been sitting on a clutch of goose eggs.

Sitting Goose.

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that there has been problems with a male goose who keeps on fighting to sit on her eggs (yes, I know…do ganders get broody too??).  After many fights, the eggs were getting smashed and alas she ended up with one egg.  I had been timing her sit and her EDD (Estimated Date of Delivery…Ha-Ha using medical terms…might be Estimated Date of Hatching) was on Wednesday.  Anyway, we gave her a few more extra days and lo and behold, the egg exploded because it was rotten.  Now you would think that she would get off her nest since there were no more eggs plus there was a terrible  stench of exploded egg.  No, she wouldn’t budge an inch.

Since January Jones had no more eggs to sit on and she had lost so much weight over the last month, we made an executive decision to throw her off her nest and out of the coop.  I know it sounds horrible but she was wasting away and we needed to break her broodiness so she would start eating again.

Well, she’s thoroughly pissed off with us!  Every morning she waits outside the house to ambush us.  She runs full throttle at us and tries to leap and thrash at our legs!  What a feisty goose…I hope at some point she will find it in herself to forgive us because these goosie attacks are getting a bit too much.

Anyway, I still want to end on a positive note.  Here are some recent baby pictures!!  We love Oor Goosies despite their evil temperaments!!

Hello Goosie!!!
Goosie Eating.
Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

Kidnapping The Duchess!!

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Officially we are now crepuscular; up at 5am, doing our stuff until it gets too hot to move!!  I just wanted to share with you a funny story that happened about two weeks ago.  This was when we had no idea what to do with our goose eggs; the incubator was unreliable, all the female geese were insisting on nesting in the middle of the bush, there was a lot of pushing and shoving resulting in broken eggs  and there were no reliable broody poultry.  Our first solution was to get Muscovy ducks as they are known to be become broody at the drop of a hat.  These silly little ducks have proven to be duds.  As Gnome says,

“They’re treating this place like a hotel….”

Muscovy Ducks.

These two possess absolutely no broody tendencies.  They just twitter, stuff themselves full of corn and will have nothing to do with us.  Talk about a bunch of free-loaders!!

Anyway, at about the same time, our darling duchess (aka female turkey) had laid a clutch of eggs and was sitting all snug and cosy on top of them.  And then lo and behold, the Overlord (Aka male turkey) came along and smashed up the eggs (we are not sure why he did this) and the poor duchess was left whimpering on top of a bunch of broken eggs, refusing to move.

Overlord and Duchess.

This is when we decided upon Operation: Kidnap the Duchess.  Gnome made a lovely luxury nest cabana-style in the coop.

Deluxe Brooding Cabana.

In the middle of the night, Gnome stealthily grabbed and snatched the duchess and placed her in the new nest  on top of 7 goose eggs.  I assisted with a flash-light to guide the way.  The next morning, we opened up the nest door to find the duchess all quiet and calm,  sitting happily on top of her eggs.  Since then, she has not moved at all and we place food, snacks  (she loves bananas) and water by her side.  We hope that the eggs hatch…we have about another two weeks to go.  We did read on the Internet (although we are now cautious of any information that we read) that when a turkey sits on goose eggs, you actually need to help her move the eggs around on a daily basis and spray warm water to keep them humidified.  Well, the Duchess will have none of that because she won’t  get her off the eggs!  God forbid that we try moving her about; she would probably freak out and we definitely do not want to de-brood her!  Let’s hope and pray that we get a few goosies out of this one…

Sitting Turkey.

Keep on going Duchess!!  You’re a Champion!!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Food

A Very Hot Sunday!

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This morning, we worked on the guinea pig coop,  re-using concrete blocks from the goosie cabana-style nests for it.  Apparently, from our personal observation of geese, they do not seem to like  “sharing walls” so now we have to make single brooding nests.  How funny...no semi-d’s for the geese...semi-detached houses (in the UK and Australia; don’t know if this concept is in Northern America) are houses that share walls.  They are usually two houses stuck together so that the neighbours end up sharing a wall.  The advantage of this housing is that they are usually less expensive than a single house.  There are also many disadvantages like hearing the television next door!  Anyway, I digress…my point is that we can’t be cheap with our geese and make them share walls!!

So these got taken apart…

Cabana Style Nests.

We left a single one which incidentally has three brand new goose eggs in it.  We are not sure who the girl is so we are taking bets for the next broody goose.

The guinea pig complex has been expanded upwards by one concrete block to give our duckies more head room:

Piggie Extension.

Panda came to the farm this morning.  He’s doing fine by the way for all you guys who are following the blog to read about his exploits.  You guys must be thinking, “Oh no…not another silly Munchkin and Gnome post!  Where’s Panda??”

Panda came over to help us get a pick up load of sawdust.  Gnome and Panda got all red-faced and sweaty from the heat (not actually the work) whilst I brought goosie along for the ride.  I was on light duty today!

After midday, Panda went off to do his own thing.  We decided to have a break at the pond today.  It is actually soooo hot that you have no choice but to sit around.  We had crumpets and tea together sans the geese.

Cacao butter crumpets!  Scrumptious!

Crumpets and Tea.

Apparently the geese have forgotten that there is a pond (what short memories they have) and are dizzily swimming about in little 5 gallon basins around the house.  Oh, well we can’t tell them what to do otherwise they will try to pick a fight with us!  What hot-headed Geese we have…

Hope y’all had a nice Sunday sitting around in the inferno heat!!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Food, Pets, Philosophy, Plants

We Have A Happy Gnome!

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Yes, indeed, we have a happy Gnome so that really means that we also have a happy Munchkin!  When we tell you what makes us satisfied with life, you’ll probably giggle and guffaw at the simplicity of our wants.  Yes, indeed this ascetic life-style  has made us put our lives into perspective (as there is time for quiet contemplation) and you realise that life can be fulfilled with very simple things.  The meaningful things to us might not be everyone’s cup of tea!  But, we do think that it’s good to develop new interests and passions all the time.

Yes, firstly…the worms…the worms…of course.  Special thanks to Graham and Joyce for their assistance and friendship.  Here we are:

Red Wiggler Worms.

Lovely, lovely…this stuff makes Gnome very happy:

More Worms.

Gnome has set up a wormery to increase his population.  Once he is satisfied that he has enough worms, he will start his worm tower empire.

Worm Bin.

The next thing…aubergines…aubergines.  We are growing the Black Beauty variety.  Look at the lovely flower on this plant:

Eggplant Flower.

What’s next…ooooh Baby Goosie is a bundle of joy.  We are certainly enjoying being Mama Munchkin and Papa Gnome.  We even phoned up Gnome’s Mum to talk about the “baby” and how well it was eating and putting on weight. Gnome’s dad laughed at our conversation and said at last, we have a grand-child!

Goosie!!

Oh, last but not least…Gnome’s beloved tomatoes.  We did experience quite a set-back from the pesky birds.  I can’t look at a Montezuma oropendola without feeling self-righteous indignation!  Look at what they did to our lovely tomato:

Pecked Tomato.

Anyway, Gnome’s ingenuity has out-witted them…so far, so good!  Let’s give a show of hands to Gnome for his new “Hello Birdie…there’s nothing here to eat…so go away”  decoy.

Tomato Protectors.

The last picture has to be these: our very own Krim tomatoes.  Beautifully sweet and succulent.  We just sliced them and dipped them in salt.  Ahhhh…wonderful….

First Tomatoes.
Amusing, Belize, Farming, Plants

Munchkin & Gnome Update.

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Phew…it is sooooo hot!!  When the dry season comes, it comes with a vengeance.  Well what’s been happening?  Gnome’s tomatoes are getting to about 200 to 300g (1/2 lb) and they are slowly turning purple red.  The only problem is that the birdies have discovered these delicious choice fruit and they’ve been feasting on them.  Poor Gnome…he was devastated!

Green Tomatoes.

“No…not my lovely tomatoes!!  Why don’t they eat something else…there are plenty of other things!!”

We did an Internet search on “how to scare birds away” and the easiest thing was hanging up silver foil in a line.  So I cut out about 50 old pie containers and hung a whole lot, on string, like Christmas decorations.  That didn’t work at all!  The birds still came and bit chunks out of our tomatoes;  we were getting so frustrated since we hadn’t eaten a single intact tomato!

I said to Gnome with a wry smile,

“you can buy decoy owls from Amazon but I’m afraid we can’t  get 24 hour shipping to Belize…”

Anyway, I left Gnome to his own devices for a while and later he called me out to look at what he did.  He placed a cotton work glove on each and every tomato so that the plants looked like they were displaying a show of hands.

So far, it has worked.  Great…very simple and cheap way to fool the birdies away.  Those dastardly birds  are also getting my suriname cherry which is really quite upsetting.  These fruit don’t taste like “cherries” but have a very sweet and resinous taste.  They usually get to about an inch (2cm) in size.

Suriname Cherries.

The other day, I spotted an enormous one that was about 2 inches in size.  It was still green so I decided to leave it on the bush.  I thought that it would a really nice treat for Gnome and he would really appreciate it.  A while later, I went back to pick it and the whole thing was gone!  Those cheeky blighters!!  Those Montezuma oropendola…you know, those ones with yellow tails…the ones that bird watchers go on about all the time.  Well, they’re eating up all our fine epicurean delights…Wahhhh!!!

Yes birdie…I know you are looking at our lovely tomatoes…

Montezuma oropendola

On a happier note, we have four more kids on the block.  Say Hello to our lovely new baby cavies!  The sandy looking one is very nice…oooh and look at the third one with the black patch on its nose.  What cuties!!

New Baby Piggies.
Amusing, Belize, Farming, Pets

Goosie Wars!

You really can’t believe everything you hear from people…we were told that geese laying season was winter time and that they layed up until Valentine’s Day (14th of February).  This is the first year that we have had geese and we waited and waited for eggs until Valentine’s Day.  On this very day, when we were just about to give up all hope, the first egg was found plop in the middle of the coop.  Oh, we were so excited and happy that we immediately put it in the incubator.

After the first egg, Goosie Wars started and we have been caught in the scourge of testosterone driven goosie madness every day since then…

The ganders are super aggressive; unprovoked, they chase us around the farm, pecking brutally at our legs.  Every morning, I am armed with a broom as I enter the war zone, anticipating the daily ambush by the bunch of crazy, blood-thirsty geese.

After a while, we noticed that while the ganders were creating interference and causing bodily harm, the female geese were dashing into bushy areas of the farm.  It took us some time to figure out the females were laying in secret spots.  For some time, it became a “watching game” where I would act as decoy to the violent exploits of the geese ( I am a brave kinda Munchkin or a sucker for punishment!) and Gnome would surreptitiously follow the female geese into the bushy areas.

This was the first nest that we found:

Secret Goose Nest.

We found a few more after this.  There was however one savvy female goose that made a nest in the coop; this scary looking one:

Sitting Goose.

She was originally sitting on six eggs and now she only has one!  I still do not understand fully the psychology of geese but there is a gander who keeps pushing her off her eggs and sits on them himself.  She comes back round and they have a big fight and she regains her nest.  During this squabble, an egg or two is usually lost.  We don’t hold much hope for anything happening with this one but we have certainly learned that we need to have protected brooding boxes next year.

We found another girl sitting out in the middle of the bush, all zazen and tranquil, on her nest.  That was all fine but she was about 200 yards from the house and we were afraid for her safety.

Sitting Goose.

We decided to make a bunch of brooding nests in the coop and attempted a midnight “kidnap” of this goose to re-locate her to protected surroundings.  Gnome made a special effort as usual with spacious cabana-style nests:

Cabana Style Nests.

Operation: Kidnap and Re-locate Broody Goose proved to be a failure and the goose was let out of the nest in the morning.  She was all flustered and cross at us!  Okay, you live and learn…re-locate a goose at your peril!  These eggs had to go into the incubator.

Although we are black and blue and weary from Goosie Wars, one good thing has happened.  We had our first gosling hatching (the Valentine’s Day egg) the other day.  This little one is bouncy, lively and friendly.  There is perhaps hope that we can breed a goose out of these wars that we can train to be peace-loving, kind and gentle.  Our idealism is coming out once again…we will overturn our anarchist geese one day and replace them with Zazen geese that will make the world a better place to live in.

The Beginnings Are Delicate Times…the future is with the young ones…

Hello Goosie!!!

It’s time for a game change goosies!!

Amusing, Belize, Farming, Food, Philosophy

Turkish Delight and All Things Nice…

A while back I had a conversation with Panda (he is originally from London) about British food that we missed.  It was mostly a nostalgic reminiscence of biscuits and sweets because I used to have an awfully sweet tooth.  We talked about McVities Chocolate Digestives, chocolate eclairs, Turkish delight, Jaffa Cakes, After Eight Mints and a whole host of sweet treats.  It just so happened that his Mum was visiting soon and so he asked her to bring some of these sweets.  When she did come, I was given a lovely gift of Turkish Delight and After Eight Mints.

One of the main reasons why I am talking about this is because I have noticed that this farm lifestyle in Belize has changed my eating habits and palate.  With the After Eight Mints, I didn’t scoff them all down in one go…I am sure most people would never admit to this behaviour in their own blog!  I found the sugar content overwhelming so I ate one or two with a cup of tea now and then.  If I ate too much, I would feel thirsty and even nauseated.

I have reduced my sugar intake drastically over the last decade so my body is no longer used to large quantities of sugar.

Just to give you an idea of my sugar intake now: it is usually a teaspoon with each cup of tea and I usually have 2 cups per day.  As a general rule, I don’t often buy products, unless as a treat, and so I hardly eat any hidden sugars.  I don’t bake cakes and I don’t bake biscuits.  In fact, most of the sugars that we consume are in the natural form of fruit.  I am a not “health conscious freak” by any stretch of the imagination.  I like food and I like eating!!  Rather, my change in lifestyle has changed my eating habits.

As an interesting aside, we do get the feeling that sugar content of products are based on cultural wants and tastes.  For instance, we have had the ubiquitous Kit-Kat from many areas of the world.  The Asian Kit-Kats have considerably less sugar than the ones bought here in Central America.  Similarly, if we do buy biscuits (cookies), we will opt to buy British imported ones instead of the Guatemalan/ Mexican (Central America) stuff as, in our opinion, these biscuits are just loaded with sugar and have no flavour; we do not feel that ingesting this biscuit to get high on the sugar, whizz around for ten minutes followed by a major “down” is worth it at all!

As Doctors, we are skilled in the observation of other people doing this and we see it time and time again.  It’s amazing how many people don’t seem to recognise the physiological impact of eating such foods.  Instead, they just keep on doing it…if it goes on for too long…this is when you get diabetes.

Gnome always says, “…beware of the white  powder…”

He means sugar.

Anyway having said all of this, I am not actually trying to get anyone to stop eating what they enjoy.  Rather, food should be enjoyed…as life is enjoyed…but balance is required to achieve this.

Okay…now to the Turkish Delight which is what this post is about.  As soon as I bit into my first piece of Turkish Delight, I felt the sugar run into my blood and knew that my pancreas had kicked in to squirt insulin out quick smart.  It was a real sugar high; I felt my head spinning and my whole body going wobbly like jelly.  It was like doing some “extreme velocity sport” but my body wasn’t going anywhere!  These were my thoughts during ingestion,

“Arrrghhh!!!  Way too much sugar!  I used to eat this by the box??!!  Arrrghhh!!!”

Anyway, I did however appreciate the aromatic rose and lemon flavours and also felt that it was a waste not to eat a gift.  I thought that the intense flavour was lovely but surely there was a way to eat with fewer side effects?.  This is when I thought of cutting up the Turkish Delight into small pieces and baking a bread with it.  And I did:

Turkish Delight Bread.

The rose and lemon permeated through the dough to make a uniquely flavour-some bread.  In other words, it was good to eat!

Turkish Delight Bread.

If you want to make this at home, just add about two cups of Turkish Delight, chopped into 1/2 inch cubes (1cm), to your favourite bread recipe.

In conclusion, I think that this farming lifestyle allows a natural progression to healthier eating.  You become more sensitive to the things that you eat and in turn, you naturally stop eating crap!