Welcome to MGNews, sponsored by Casa Mascia Apothecary. Mr. Arnold Wang has been shamelessly coined the “Pie Man” because of his desire to literally make all the piggies in the gated community of Paradise Pastures into guinea pig meat pies. This week, MGNews PrimeTime Sunday, offers Mr. Wang the chance to speak out.
Here is an exclusive interview with Mr. Arnold Wang:
MGNews Reporter: Mr. Wang, thank-you for taking part in this interview with MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. Tell us, are you going to make meat pies out of the piggies?
Mr. Wang: Yes, I am. Not only will I make them into delicious pies but I will also make them rich!
MGNews Reporter: How will you make them rich?
Mr. Wang: I will take a portion of the guinea pig community and sell them “on the hoof” for instant cash sales. Furthermore, some of these piggies can be sold off as pets.
MGNews Reporter: How will you the guinea pigs profit from this?
Mr. Wang: I will build more breeding units for Paradise Pastures.
MGNews Reporter: Mr. Wang, you sound like quite an entrepreneur, do you think you sell yourself enough to become Mayor?
Mr.Wang: Definitely. We need pragmatism. We need money. As soon as the piggies realise that they exist only for the sake of making money, then they will come round to my way of thinking.
MGNews Reporter: Thank-you Mr. Wang. We wish you luck in your campaign.
What the Experts Say:
Mr. Richie Rich is a successful cattle farmer in Belize:
This is the way to go. I certainly agree that the animals exist only for money-making and profit. It makes no sense to have them around for no other reason. Money always makes sense. The Guatemalans and the Mexicans will certainly bring in their Guinea Pig Trailers to buy them “on the hoof.” And if Mr. Wang wishes to add a higher value to his guinea pig operation, then he can consider his own brand of meat pies and sausages.
Ms. Melina Bottomley is a marketing expert from New York:
Marketing will be the way to go for Mr. Wang right from the get go. 50% of his profits should go back into marketing of Guinea Pig Pies. The marketing blitz is all that counts to clinch this sale. Newspapers, Radio, Television, The Works! He needs an angle though…mmm..probably “grass fed” and “organic” are words he should be using. Not to mention that the piggies are “free range” or “free voting” or whatever. This will work!
Brendan Beamer is an owner of a large chicken operation in Belize:
If it’s not chicken, he won’t be able to sell it!
Edgar Simpson is an ordinary bloke on the street:
Pretty intimidating…especially with the gun. Not sure if the piggies can handle such aggression. They might want to hire someone from Human Resources.
Well, the Pie Man is certainly very confident with his economic forecast. Is this what the Piggies want on Paradise Pastures? Do they want to be bred for profit and no fun? Will he get their votes?
Tune in again next week to MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Remember, it’s only Funday if you make it PrimeTime Sunday!
