Our resident yoga teacher, Johnny Daybreeze, at Coco-Prune Resort and Residences, left today to take up a new position at the bright pastures of San Antonio.
Goodbye Johnny Daybreeze and good luck with your choreography career!
There is now a position as Yoga Instructor available at Coco-Prune Resort; application is open to guinea pigs only with yoga certification. Please send your curriculum vitae (with two passport sized photos, police report and character references) to Casa Mascia!
Answer: None. Zazen Duckies carry their own light.
Yes, the Zazen Duckies are meditating under the dappled shade of the kenip tree. They have even made a nesting spot out of old century plants…completely ignoring the modern luxury nests built to international ISO quality standards. The Duckies are doing are it “the organic way.”
Oh, what’s that funny noise….
“Oi!! WEEEE WEEEEE!!! What about us??! Has Mayor Gnome forgotten about us?!!”
Mayor Gnome’s reply:
“Personally I don’t think any of you have a clue about spiritual intent but I am willing to give you a chance. Mayor Gnome always gives chances…get ready for the big move to the Zen Garden!”
“…oh, and by the way, I contacted George Lucas…you can’t change your name to the Jedi Piggies.”
The Piggies:
“Can we change to the Ewok Piggies instead, then?”
The Paradise Piggies are totally hogging the Blog space with their adamant requests to re-locate to the Monastery. Mayor Gnome is building a Zen Garden to house the Zazen Duckies that have a genuine desire to meditate on the meaning of life. In the last post the Piggies were trying to convince Mayor Gnome of their noble lofty values in a bid to move to the Monastery. But somehow their message lost momentum when Treshawn requested having a baby first and Bob requested growing organic tomatoes and Barbie gave a mixed message about love, light and Jedi Piggies. Mayor Gnome told them to come back when they could decide on a clear and coherent philosophy.
Now this is what the Paradise Piggies have come up with. They would like to start up a School:
They want to call it The School of Life and the purpose of this place is to teach the “dance of life.” In order to convince Mayor Gnome of their spiritual desires, they did a public demonstration with their best dance piggie. This is Johnnie Daybreeze, dance piggie extraordinaire:
They even had a tune to go with the dance…you need to listen to this and imagine this dance piggie prancing in front of you:
Any comments from Mayor Gnome?
“Hmmmmmm…I need to think about this.”
Anything else Piggies?
“Yes, Mayor Gnome just one more request. Can we change our name to Jedi Piggies by deed poll?”
Mayor Gnome called an emergency meeting with the Paradise Piggies earlier in the day. If you have been following the events, you will know that Mayor Gnome is in the process of building a Zen garden to house the Zazen Duckies. The Paradise Piggies have made a special request to move to the Monastery.
Today Mayor Gnome explained to the piggies that the moving of their gated community of Paradise Pastures would be no mean feat as their home weighs a whopping 100kg (200lb). This would entail the movement of their home across a distance of 100 yards! He explained to the piggies:
“Piggies, you need to convince me that you are serious about your spiritual goals because moving your house to the monastery will be a lot of hard work…”
Are the piggies ready for the next move? These are a few answers from members of the Paradise Pastures community.
Treshawn Piggie:
“I’m ready…just need to have a baby first…”
Bob Piggie:
“I’m ready…spirituality is the most important thing in my life but I need to grow some mmm…organic tomatoes first.”
Barbie Piggie:
“Yes I know I am ready and it is time to take the next step. Yay…I want to be a Zazen Piggie! It is all about being Jedi, right? With the way of the Piggie, I will find the way…love and light. The force is strong in this one…WEEEEEEEEE!”
In amongst the general piggie noise of squealing and squawking, these were the most intelligible answers that Mayor Gnome managed to get. This was his reply:
“Piggies, you don’t seem know what you want. Come back to me when you can all agree on a spiritual goal!”
“Jedi Piggies, huh? Hmmmm…..what next?!”
What’s up Piggies?
The Piggies came out today to view the Zen Garden for the Zazen Duckies.
This is a public statement from the Paradise Piggies in the gated community of Paradise Pastures:
“Can we come too? The jungle resort isn’t working out for us…a meditation retreat might be the answer. Weeeeeee Weeeeee Weeeeee!!”
Mayor Gnome was asked to comment on this request:
“The piggies have to have serious intent to practice meditation. This is not a weekend retreat, workshop or seminar….”
Piggies what do you say to this?
“Oh, just looking for a weekend reboot.”
Yes I think it is about time we had another Paradise Piggies update…you know the friendly bunch of guinea pigs residing at the fictional gated community of Paradise Pastures. We don’t get much feedback on these posts so we wonder if anyone else gets the same amusing pleasure as we do in making up silly stories on Piggies in Paradise and Mayoral elections. We suspect not…but hey…we guffaw over the guinea pig comments and Mayor Gnome antics. I suppose that’s something.
This is an MGNews update bringing the latest thrilling exploits of the piggies in the best jungle resort in Belize. Mayor Gnome has inaugurated the opening of a school in Paradise Pastures. In other words, he’s put a sign up and said a few nice words.
A school to educate the next generation.
The piggies are really excited about the prospect of a school. Here are a few comments from the residents of this fortunate community:
Dishawn-Piggie:
” Power to the Piggies. We need to preserve our art, culture and history!”
Penelope-Piggie:
“More science and engineering for the piggies! We need to build rockets to the moon and have one common goal for the good of Piggie-kind!”
Well, this is certainly a good start to the year with lofty and inspiring thoughts. A Big Thank-you to Isabel for the gift of the clay school plaque. The piggies had a good chew on it but quickly realised that it was inedible. They were asking if you could pleeeease make a sign out of gingerbread next time…thanks in advance!
A Merry Christmas to you all from the Piggies at Paradise Pastures! Wishing everyone a Happy Festive Season and they are all looking forward to Christmas Pudding tomorrow..
Message from Mayor Gnome:
“Happy Christmas Everyone!! And may all your dreams come true in the New Year!”
“Get Ready Piggies For 2016…Gnome Buddy Does It Better!”
This story, all names, characters and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons, places, buildings and products is intended or should be inferred.
This is an MGNews special bringing you the most exhilarating and high velocity news from Paradise Pastures, a home for Paradise Piggies. Mayor Gnome took some time out today from his busy schedule to talk about the most special time of the day for him.
Toddler Tickling Time: 5pm Every Night.
MGNews: Good Evening Mayor Gnome. Thank-you for this exclusive interview. In this year’s election campaign, you had promised Toddler Tickling Time every night. How is this working out for you and the community?
Mayor Gnome: Oh yes, delightful. This is valuable time for me and I find the whole experience uplifting and joyful.
MGNews: What do you like most about it?
Mayor Gnome: Sharing with the community. All you need to do is to look into the eyes of one of these piggies and that is all you need.
MGNews: What kind of response have you received from the toddlers?
Mayor Gnome: Well they make a lot of squeaky noises which I take as a positive response!
MGNews: Thank-you Mayor Gnome for sharing your thoughts with us.
This was a MGNews exclusive interview with Mayor Gnome. You better Belize it! We will leave you tonight with a gallery of toddlers from Paradise Piggies.
We can’t help but love Mayor Gnome. Keep up the good work…and keep funding our network!
This is MGNews bringing the most sought after top news on the Paradise Piggies residing in the gated community known as Paradise Pastures. Last week, we had been informed of Mayor Gnome’s new dietary plan for the residents which was met with positive gurgling and munching noises. Well, there was only one small unforeseen problem…the coconut squares did not fit into the feeders.
Of course, our Mayor Gnome has come up with a great solution. He has scrapped all the piggie feeders and made the dining area into a cafeteria-style complex. Now, that’s what we call a classy resort for Piggies!
The piggies are thrilled with this new up-beat modern way of dining.
Comments From Piggies:
Matilda-Piggie: Weee Weee love the new dining room!
Gorgeous George-Piggie: There ain’t enough of them. We should all get our own coconut square…we still have to scrabble about in the cafeteria. Who does Mayor Gnome think he is kidding? This is still not silver service!
White Ratty-Piggie: Well apart from the toddlers piling on top of all of us, it is rather marvellous!
Well, Mayor Gnome is certainly developing Paradise Pastures into the most desirable Piggie Resort in Belize. His superior intellect and foresight shines through everytime!
This is an MGNews update on the Paradise Piggies. Mayor Gnome has just declared budget cuts for Paradise Pastures which means that the piggies will no longer be receiving their daily ration of cachorros (bite-size puppy food). 
In an effort to quell any possible riots or uprising, Mayor Gnome has adopted the aristocratic attitude of,
“Let them eat cake!”
What does this mean. Pray tell us, Mayor Gnome…what are you up to?
Mayor Gnome has recruited the expertise of Chef Munchkin to bake a high protein, delicious cake for the Piggies.
Chef Munchkin has come up with a modification of her famous coconut squares and re-formularised them with less sugar, more fibre and high protein.
And what did the Piggies think of this change in diet? One large coconut square was placed in the middle of Paradise Pastures and the result was total and utter mayhem with three piggie pile-ups and gurgles-a-plenty. The cake was finished in 15.2 seconds flat.
Paradise Piggies gave a resounding Thumbs Up to Yummy freshly baked Coconut Squares everyday!! What Paradise…Weeeeeeee!!!
Mayor Gnome Does It Again!
