MGNews PrimeTime Sunday bringing you the latest news on the Mayoral Elections 2015, Paradise Pastures. We give you the News that matters…the tears of joy, the tears of sadness, the ups and downs of the Paradise Piggies. This week, MGNews puts the focus on the piggies. Let’s take a trip down to the gated community to ask the residents what they think of the three candidates.
Mr. Arnold Wang a.k.a “The Pie Man.”
Mr. Game Change promises economic action in Paradise Pastures. Piggies should be bred for meat pies or pets in order to promote profit, confidence and usefulness in the community.
What the Piggies Say:
Grandma Stumpy: He is certainly a scary looking man, no doubt about that.
MGNews Reporter: What do you think of his policies?
Grandma Stumpy: His what? Say that again, son, I’m a bit tone deaf…
Matilda Piggie: He makes me want to run into a mound of grass and hide…weeeeeee!!
MGNews Reporter: Would you vote for him?
Matilda Piggie: I suppose if he scared me enough I would vote for him…
Magical Rodent a.k.a “Mad T Mouse.”
Magical Rodent promises to take the cavy community “where no cavy has gone before.” She aims to lead the Piggies back to the wild to breed a Super Being Guinea Pig to rule over Homo sapiens. Power to the Piggies!
What the Piggies Say:
Grandma Stumpy: Universe’s Super What? Dat fi True?
Matilda Piggie: Wow…she wants to breed us into a Super Piggie! She is scary too!
Dishawn Piggie: Hmmm…I always felt that we, Cavia porcellus, had more potential as a species. Her complex hybridisation program is worth more research. Having descended from the domesticated species Cavia tschudii, we cavies would certainly find it a challenge to become wild again but it doesn’t mean that it is not a possibility.
Mayor Gnome a.k.a “El Diablo Blanco.”
Mayor Gnome has taken a decidedly tough stance this year. His empathy and sympathy has been replaced by “Tough Love.”
What the Piggies Say:
Grandma Stumpy: Oooh, I always vote for Mayor Gnome!
MGNews Reporter: Why?
Grandma Stumpy: He’s a right handsome young gnome, that’s for sure!
MGNews Reporter: And his policies?
Gorgeous George Piggie: What’s happened to MG, eh? Tough Love, eh? More like Tough Luck! He’s turned into a right evil bugger!
Matilda Piggie: He is scary too!!!
Dishawn Piggie: He doesn’t even have a party manifesto. What a Joker!
Juanita Piggie: I fear that something bad has happened to Mayor Gnome…no compassion and no love. He is dark and moody…where is the old, happy MG? (She makes the sign of the cross…she is a Catholic Piggie).
MGNews Reporter: And the policies?
All Piggies in unison: The What?
Well, there you are. We have Mr. Pie Man, Mad T Mouse and El Diablo Blanco.
How exciting…what a bunch of Cronies we have this year for The Mayoral Elections!
Who’s it going to be?? Tune in next week. MGNews PrimeTime Sunday. 6pm Central/ Mountain Piggie Time.
Funday Sunday: All The Fun You can Stand. 9 more weeks and counting!!
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