Category Archives: Amusing

A Rainy Day

Raining Again!

We were poised to work this morning since the rains have been stopping us from getting outside…and there is so much work to catch up with. We heard the distant sound of thunder as we awoke…hmmm rather ominous but pretended to ignore it! At 7am we ran out and Gnome got the mower out quick smart…at the same time there was a huge clap of thunder. More signs!! We both ran around and tried to get as much done as possible and sure enough at 8am, the rain came pouring down.

We came into the house both drenched. This happens all the time…the weather just doing its thing and we have to go with it. We have been doing this for about twenty years now…this is the story of our lives! Anyway, the grass keeps growing, the bush is encroaching and the weeds need weeding. Jolly good…we are right into the swing of rainy season in Belize!

Let’s talk about what we are harvesting right now. We have (at long, long last) started getting mangoes. Mango season in Belize is July but our season seems to be later and extending through to September. In fact, all our crops always seem to be behind a couple of months!! Since Gnome is the more technical one, I asked him why all our crops were late and out of sync with the rest of the country. This is what he said:

No Idea!

Oh, okay, thank you Gnome for your valued input!! Let’s just talk about the mangoes then…these are the best and our favourite. They are giant slipper mangoes that can weigh anything from 2 to 5lbs. The flesh is a chunky, smooth with no fibres and the taste is absolutely mango. We were given the seed by a Taiwanese horticulturist about 4 years ago and now it has started bearing very generously. This one is a keeper.

Big Mango.
Delicious!

About 4 years ago, we also bought a whole lot of ‘grafted mangoes’ from a nursery. The variety is Tommy Atkins and we were told at the time that the grafted mangoes would bear at about 1 year. Nothing happened until now and all the trees make variations of the Tommy Atkins fruit so we think that these were not grafted after all and they were just grown from seed. Tommy Atkins Mangoes are a beautiful blue-purple and then ripen to a dark red colour. Our fruits are varied…some are large, round and very fibrous and others are slimmer looking and there are ones that taste like sour pineapple! I was disappointed at first but there is no way of knowing what you end up with until it starts bearing…by that time, the merchant has legged it with your hard earned cash!

Tommy Atkins Mangoes

Our breadfruit trees are bearing and not only are they ‘out of season’, they are also consistently small. Most breadfruit are the size of soccer balls…ours are more like baseballs. We have tried all sorts of things like mulching and fertilising…they are still teeny weeny tiny!! That’s okay, they are still tasty and edible…

Little Breadfruit

In my twenty years in Belize, the only way that I have seen this cooked is fried like french fries. They are peeled (or not), the central core is removed (sometimes not) and they are cut into about 1/2 inch slices and fried in oil. It’s very nice and tasty but if you have a bearing tree, you can’t keep up with eating fried breadfruit all the time…you will end up feeling like a greasy lump! This is what I do: I gather the harvest and prepare them in batches. The fruit is peeled, cored and cut into cubes. Then par-boiled for 6 minutes, drained in a collard and once cooled, stored in quart bags in the freezer.

Cubed Breadfruit

So, when you want to eat breadfruit, take out a bag of frozen breadfruit and thaw it. You can put them in stews, soups, stir fries…anything you like. It is also very nice cooked in coconut milk with garlic and chili pepper. Just be imaginative…they basically taste like potato so just use them in any recipe that you would otherwise use potato. It is very versatile and yes indeed, you can even fry it in oil from the frozen form!

Okay, that is it for now. It’s sunny again and Gnome has just ran out with the mower. It is amazing what magic he can do in one hour!! Go For It, Gnome!!

Ready for Gnome Magic!

Surprise! We are Still Here!!

Munchkin and Gnome

Well, I will sheepishly say that I don’t have a great excuse why I haven’t written much this year! Except, that we have been really, really, really busy (and that I forgot to write??) . This month, I had to renew the website fees, which was a chunk of money and thought to myself:

Oh dear! Eeek!!!

Oh dear! Eeeek!! I have only written about 2 blog posts and it is September already??

For Munchkin standards, this is absolutely abysmal and I apologise profusely for my lack of consistency!! Wahhhh!! (I find that a big Wahhh after an apology usually drives the message home and also, makes me feel better).

Anyway, enough with the lamenting Munchkin and let’s talk about What’s Happening. To follow-up on my last post where I had some lovely goosie hatchlings on Easter Sunday, my babies have grown up a fair bit. They are about 5 to 6 months now and I have divided them into two flocks. The first flock are vigorous and healthy: the ‘ruff tuff’ group that can weather through a stormy night in Belize without a single feather getting out of place. As soon as they could start eating grass, they were out in the pasture eating like there was no tomorrow. They are delightful and friendly and I always get a unanimous ‘WEEEEEEEeeeeee!!!’ when I get close to them. I love being cheered by a gaggle of geese in the morning…a good start to a busy day on the farm. These ones eat grass 24 hours a day so I have to move them around with a moveable fence. I get yelps and cheers every time I move the fence line and usually one of them gets his silly head jammed between the bars as the excitement ensues!!

The Ruff Tuff Group!

So, one of the first jobs of the day is to move the fence around amidst a cacophony of squeaks and sqwacks (not a word according to my spell check but that is the exact noise that they make) and occasional wolf whistle!

Moving the cage in the coconut pasture

The second flock needed a little bit of help right from the get go. They are sillier (or just plain stupid??) but nevertheless adorable. They didn’t get the grass thing at all. I would plonk them in a grassy pasture and there would be puzzled looks all around!! Seriously…I thought that goosies knew by instinct to eat grass!! My goosie whispering wasn’t really up to scratch so I couldn’t find a way to say: Eat the Grass!!!

Eat the Grass!!

I am not sure what to call this group...The Silly Goosie Group?? Anyway, they got themselves into all manner of troubles because they didn’t eat grass and had trouble gaining weight. As a result, after any heavy rain they were shivering and bedraggled. We had an emergency goosie hospital set up in the house (we have NO more space in the house!!) where we had to put wet silly goosies in individual plastic boxes with individual feeding bowls and water. They would over-night in the house and then they would be released back into pasture. Some required more care and needed daycare also. I was bussing wounded goosies back and forth for a couple of months and we had one busy night were we had 4 admissions…I had to improvise with an extra fish tank and a cardboard box! After a while, they started getting used to seeing me bring out a box and they would all be vying to get in!! They loved the overnights with Munchkin and Gnome watching vintage ’80’s movies!! It was like a sleepover with a bunch of rowdy kids! Once they started making too much noise, we knew that they were getting better and so out to pasture they went again…

Silly Goosie Group

Everything has settled down now and the Silly Goosie Group are out and about…they pick at the grass dis-interestingly all day until evening time when they gorge themselves on the poultry feed that I give them. They are fattening up and at this stage, it’s important for them to get to an optimum size. Don’t worry, I am not priming them up to eat…I think these are a bunch of females so they may be my future egg layers.

And so here ends my latest blog post. I did enjoy writing it so I hope that I get into writing on a regular basis.

Something New!

For something new, we have started learning a bit of Q’eqchi’, the main language of the Maya people in Belize. The best place to practice is Punta Gorda market where you can ask questions like: What is that called? How much for that? I would like 2 lbs please.

PG Market Stalls.

We have quite a bit of fun with this; Gnome said to me the other day:

‘Hah, Munchkin!…you speak Q’eqchi’ with a Scottish accent!’

He then proceeded to exemplify his statement by saying:

‘ It’s not a bad thing. It’s just like Sean Connery. He spoke everything in a Scottish accent. He even spoke Latin, Russian and Greek with a Scottish accent…’

His voice sort trailed off when I looked at at him with dismay…

Munchkin: ‘Oh, is that why nobody understands me!!’

Anyway, one must keep on trying!! I have had trouble with this accent for the all the time I have been in Belize. When I first came to the country, I think I spoke too fast and my accent was very guttural and harsh-sounding. I remember speaking to a Belizean person (in the Queen’s English), and he said to me in a sympathetic tone of voice:

…don’t worry dear, you will soon get the hang of speaking English if you stay in Belize for a longer time.’

Anyway, moving quickly along, I wanted to show you some exciting things that we found at the market while we were practicing our new language skills.

Ground roots from the market.

The root on the left is a type of yam…they call it soup yam…this is a small one because I have seen them as large as footballs. We were very excited about the one on the right…we had never seen that before and we didn’t recognise them. I showed the latter one to a Belizean friend and she posted the picture on Facebook to see if anyone would come up with a name. We were amazed to find out that it was arrowroot. I didn’t even know that they grew arrowroot here to eat as a tuber…the Maya call this ya’ootch and they like to boil it up in their famous caldo (chicken soup).

Anyway, I boiled these two roots up separately just to get an idea of texture and taste:

Cut soup yam.

The soup yam tasted like a ubiquitous yam-type of tuber with no great distinguishing characteristics. It is fine as a bland carbohydrate that can be used for soups and stews. We didn’t get too excited about it but nevertheless, it is an edible, inoffensive vegetable.

The arrowroot was boiled in water and softened in about 20 minutes:

Cut arrowroot.

We found this one more interesting since we have only seen this vegetable in powder form used as a thickener. Yes, this was a winner!! This is sweet and crunchy and makes a good alternative for water chestnut. This is a definite keeper and we will plant a patch of this stuff.

Anyway, that’s it for now. More soon!

Happy Chinese New Year!!

From Munchkin and Gnome!

Or Gong Hei Fat Choy or Happy Lunar Year (I have seen this version a lot lately)!! So, today marks the end of the Year of the Ox. Boy, I really thought 2021 was a hard slog as predicted!! Lets hope that good things come with the Year of the Water Tiger. I have tried to look up the meaning of the Year of the (Water) Tiger and (you know what you get on the Internet…anything and everything) this is a bit of what I got:

‘Tigers will rule the jungle in 2022.’

Our Jungle Tiger Rules in 2022!

‘People with strong confidence can overcome their fears.’

No Fear!!

‘The Water sign is a sign of fluidity so welcome good changes in your life and accept them.’

Welcome the Changes!

‘Water represents Wealth which means Abundance and Prosperity.’

Live Long and Prosper!

It doesn’t sound too bad as long as you face challenges with confidence and fearlessness. We Can Do it!!

Yeah!! Cool!! No Fear!!

Getting it Done!

Planting on the Farm!

Hello Everyone, we have been moving along quite quickly with our planting. This is partly because we have computerised our farm work into daily lists. Gnome has put the chores on weekly, fortnightly and monthly cycles so that we can keep up with all maintenance. I can’t believe that such a simple concept can make such a difference! Now I don’t have several scraps of paper with endless lists of work to do. I don’t even try to remember what needs to be done…which inevitably leaves to every thing being forgotten as life gets in the way all too often…the computer can do it for me!

Everything is looking great on the farm…I say that with such glee because this is a first for us. Usually something is sadly neglected but this time, everything is getting care and attention!

Pitahaya.

Oh look at the pitahaya growing so nicely against our stone rock bed. We are planning to transplant all these into a pitahaya orchard with wooden posts as support to allow the plants to grow upwards. The orchard will allow more space to produce fruit and weeding will be a bit easier. This rock bed method looks nice but requires too much maintenance.

We have some wild rocket (arugula?? Is that how you spell it??) and besides, Gnome tells me that this is the Sicilian name for this popular bitter salad green. In Italian, it is called ‘rugola.’ I like the wild variety because it has a very sharp, bitter taste and has a texture more like a dandelion green.

‘Rugola’

This is a picture of kang kong (sounds a bit like King Kong! I can never remember the name of this plant and usually come out with a mish mash of the name.). The latin name is Ipomoea aquatica, if that helps. How we managed to procure this green was quite interesting…I bought a bag of kang kong from a Chinese grocery store and rooted one of the cuttings. They grow very easily in wet, marshy areas. This edible green is growing in our water chestnut pond.

Water Chestnut Pond.

This is a close-up of the kang kong:

Kang Kong.

Oh, and what do we have here? Munchkin and Gnome have branched out into ornamentals!! How we procured this is another interesting story…a hotel!!…we don’t take the towels…we take the seeds from plants (we DO ask of course!). You know those nice pots of ornamentals that they have in reception or at the front door…Ha-Ha!! This is Papyrus: a very good looking plant…

Papyrus.

Okay, that’s it for now. I will write again NEXT WEEK!! Yes, you have guessed it…I’ve got the computer to remind me!!

On A Roll!

Oh yes…another Blog post! I am on a roll…actually, it’s wet and windy outside and I am stuck indoors! We are still in the middle of the transition from dry to wet season. It is getting wetter with night rains. And, oh yes, you have guessed it…we still haven’t finishing the round of mowing yet and the massive downpours of the wet season are imminent.

Anyway, let’s keep on going…where, I am not sure…trying to be funny but I think that fell flat. Here is something funny…I stumbled upon this soda at the Chiney (Supermarkets in Punta Gorda are mostly owned by Chinese people so the locals shorten the name to Chiney). I was very intrigued that there was a fizzy drink touting the flavour of ‘Champagne Cola.’ What a wonderful name…the combination sounded truly divine (methinks I have been in Belize for too long). Here is a picture…sorry, I bashed up the can a bit and then had to re-shape it when I realised that I wanted to take a photo.

Champagne Cola!

It was also really cheap at BZD 1.00 (USD 0.50)!!! This is even cheaper than a bottle of coke…how and why can something be so cheap…the mind boggles. Anyway, here are my tasting notes:

Colour: Super bright sunset orangey, like the colour of rust.

Clarity: Clear bright orange.

Nose: Metallic, familiar smell of a well known brand of carbonated soft drink from Scotland.

Taste: Tastes like (a cheap version) of Irn Bru!!

Irn Bru.

For all of you out there who are wondering what I am raving about, Irn Bru is a fizzy drink that is very popular in Scotland; in fact, it is the top-selling carbonated drink in Scotland. It has this awful artificial taste that every Scottish person identifies with. In Glasgow, people like mixing it with whisky! The Champagne Cola lacks some qualities of the genuine article but there is still enough of a similarity. This one is for all the Irn Bru drinkers in Belize…try Champagne Cola!

Excitement Central!

Excitement??

Hello!! What have we been up to, you may be asking? Excitement Central?? Well, I just wanted to get my foot through the door…TRUCK PROBLEMS!!! You need to look at the picture and guffaw and laugh!! We have put our truck on a ramp to push start it manually!! Yeah, just the two of us pushing 4 tons together. We must be getting older but fitter or something!!

Truck on a Ramp!!

Okay, to get out of the farm it has been tough this month of March! We started off with the truck not starting in the middle of Punta Gorda; that was all fine and good because there were loads of tough, strong men to push start the truck for us! It turned out to be a starter problem so we decided to get it fixed straight away. We drove back home and parked it on a downward slope and made an appointment to get the truck fixed. Next day…with copious amounts of praying…we got the truck started at 5am on the dot (still have the 10pm to 4.59am curfew here) and drove all the way to Belmopan which was about 3 hours drive. So far so good, we managed to get it to our Toyota dealership for fixing. That day was not so good. There were other trucks on priority and we were forgotten; it ended up being a last minute rush job that got everyone (including ourselves) in a tizz. The starter was ‘re-modelled’ and we paid a hefty bill for this and other problems. Munchkin was not happy but at the end of the day, the truck started and we just wanted to get home.

That wasn’t the end of the story…no, there is more…

Last week, we were called on a medical emergency while we were at home. Okay, so we did our usual and ran into the truck and…and…and…it wouldn’t start!!! Oh, the stress of it all. We couldn’t believe it was the starter again (didn’t we just pay a huge bill to get it fixed!!) so Gnome checked the battery and everything else. He turned the ignition key again…nothing!! Arrrrgh!!!!

Oh Dear!

Oh dear…we finally had to call the people who had the emergency to come get us. So, that was okay.

When we got home from the medical call-out, we had to deal with our own emergency! We decided to ‘sit on it’ and think about what to do. I wasn’t in a rush to go back to our previous mechanic (they were rubbish!) and besides, we couldn’t get out of the farm. It wasn’t parked on a slope so we would have to push start it somehow.

Meanwhile…we got phone calls from people in town requiring medical appointments. Oh, more stress!! I hate letting people down. Of all the weeks that it could happen…we seemed to be very popular that week. Oh, and there was a business meeting out of town…not sure if that was anything but we are usually not in such demand!

We finally got help to push start the truck off the driveway. When the engine was running, the first thing that Gnome did was to build a ramp for the truck. Yes, let me show you again what he did…

How to push start a truck in the middle of nowhere!!

So, when we need to go for a drive, Gnome releases the hand-break and we use the momentum to push the truck out of the farm onto the main road. Gnome pushes from the left door and I am hanging onto the right door. At some point, Gnome has to turn the steering wheel to get onto the main road. We still push on both sides…this is hard work…my butt still hurts!! Then, when the truck starts moving down the main road, Gnome has to jump into the driver seat (more thrilling heroics) and I am still pushing at this stage. Once there is enough speed, Gnome starts the ignition and the engine splutters to life.

Okay, that is how we have been getting the truck started in this tiny piece of nowhere in Belize. Right now, we are only going out for emergencies!!

Sherlock Gnomes Goes Bananas!

Sherlock Gnomes!

I know…Ha-Ha…I am scraping the bottom of the barrel with Sherlock Gnomes! I have decided…even if I am the only person who gets a silly giggle out of all this silliness…at least that is something! It is better to laugh than to cry!

Okay, so we are harvesting banana bunches like there is no tomorrow. Gnome has been hanging them up on the rafters of the veranda. Lotsa Bananas!! You get the picture…

Bunch of Green Bananas.

Every morning, we woke up to decimated banana bunches…they have been nibbled at from all sides. Something was eating our bananas…in a bad way…a little bit here and there. It was soooo annoying! If something is going to pilfer a banana, they might as well take the entire banana and be done with it! They ended up spoiling every banana without eating the entire thing. Anyway, we thought: It must be rats!!

It must be rats!!

Based on this premise that the bites looked like rat-sized bites, Gnome set about putting rat traps up on the rafters. Since we only had a limited number of traps, Gnome had to guess the route of the rat via the rafters. Every-night, he tried trapping a different route and every morning, we woke up to more lost bananas. The rat was out-witting Munchkin and Gnome!! Ha-Ha!!

After a few days of losing copious amounts of bananas, we decided that we just had to get the culprit! We were losing our precious food!! So, one night we switched off all the lights and pretended we had gone to bed. We waited in the dark to see what would happen and to see the actual route of the rat. Can you guess what we saw??

It was a FRUIT BAT!! No wonder the rat traps didn’t work. In the dark, it swooped back and forth from the bananas taking little bite size chunks.

So we finally solved the Mystery of the Decimated Bananas. Since it was a bat, we simply stopped hanging the banana bunches from the rafters and laid them down on the table with a cloth over them. That did the trick!!

Now, what happens if we have a rat and a fruit bat at the same time??!! Also, what is our farm cat doing at night…the lazy good-for-nothing!!

Sherlock Gnomes!

Hey, guys!! Phew…it has been sooo hot!! Dry season may have started. It’s that time of the year again. Anyway, I have a funny story from the farm!

The story started with Cat Trouble which involved our big fat farm cat. Here is a picture of him to remind you of who we are talking about:

The Farm Cat

He sleeps a lot and he does usually look like this most of the time. The last week or so, he has been wide awake and acting all squirrelly. It was like he had taken a big gulp of coffee and he couldn’t sleep for days. Mostly, he was pacing up and down, pawing at doors to get out of the house (or get into the house). He was agitated and antsy and a pain in the neck!! At first, Sherlock Gnomes thought it was due to the maturing new cat (Crazy Cat) whom we hadn’t fixed yet. Crazy Cat is now about 4 times the size of the picture below with biggish balls (if you pardon my language).

Crazy Cat!

Sherlock Gnomes: ‘…Hmmm, it might be the testosterone that the cat is producing that is bothering Big Cat…’

Okay, since there was so much silly nonsense going on with big farm cat, we got Crazy Cat fixed straight away. Okay done…oh, but big cat is still behaving the same…what’s going on??

Let’s now bring in another story that was happening about the same time. I lost my last piece of Christmas ham!! I left it defrosting over-night in the kitchen sink. For the purposes of this story, it is important to realise that our kitchen is on the veranda which is opened out with no walls or screening and has been like this for about 5 years. I have never had any pilfering so this was the first time. I woke up in the morning to a completely decimated piece of ham on the sink…something ate 1kg (2 lbs) of salty meat in one sitting. My first culprit was our Big Cat….which surprised me because he never (ever) jumps up on table tops to steal food…not in the 10 years that we have had him! However, since he had been acting ‘out of sorts’ lately I thought that he was a likely candidate.

Munchkin: Did you steal the ham?
Cat: I don’t understand what you are asking me.

Anyway, if you have ever tried talking to cat in a reasonable manner, you will know that you don’t get anywhere with that sort of talk. Sherlock Gnomes inspected his abdominal area for signs of stolen ham:

Sherlock Gnomes: ‘…Hmmm…it does not feel like he has consumed 1kg of ham…’

So, maybe it wasn’t him?? Who was it?? The other two kittens are still too small to jump onto this veranda…also, Big Cat is still acting weird…what’s going on!!

We decided after much deliberation with a couple of cups of tea that we could possibly have a possum thief. It is possum time again…

So, we set out traps with fried chicken bones (we have found that 10 out of 10 animals love fried chicken!). We made sure to put a few out so that even if we caught our cat, there would still be a trap left over to get the possum.

What do we find the next morning??? Drum roll please: what did we catch?? A Big Orange Cat…but not OUR big cat. Another male cat!!

The Case of the Antsy Cat and The Case of the Stolen Ham had been solved by the single capture of a cat!! Of course, our cat had been going crazy with another male cat prowling around the house!! And this cat was big…he ate my ham!!

Case has been solved. Oh, but there is more. We have another Sherlock Gnomes story to share with you! Tune in next time for more mystery and entertainment from the farm!

One of Those Days…

One of Those Days!

Do you ever get one of those days that you can’t get anything done or it takes ages to get something done that normally takes 10 minutes? I am having one of those days.

This morning, Gnome woke me up with a sudden jolt. He was dreaming and shouted, ‘Explosion!!!‘ in his sleep. I woke up and exclaimed, ‘…what…explosion??

I got such a shocking wake up that I pulled the muscle in the back of my leg…owhhhh!!! Ouch!!!

Ouch!!!!

So, while I was trying to wake up properly and massage the strained muscle in my leg, Gnome told me about his dream. He said that he was trying to pick up huge melons on the ground and because they were so ripe, they were exploding.

So, Gnome was dreaming about exploding fruit. I am not surprised that Gnome dreams about things like that.

Exploding Fruit!

Anyway, after being rudely woken up this morning, nothing felt right. The kittens were whining from the get-go and the gaggle of geese were in the throes of war and acting up more than normal. I stumbled about with my sore leg and spilled the tea. Oh dear…

Time to Stop!!

Oh and then I tried to write some text messages to organise some things in the outside world (I like my ducks in a row!!) and none of them would send properly.

Okay, I got the message. I finally stopped…my leg was hurting so now I have it up on a stool, resting on a cushion. Gnome has put Crazy Cat on my lap and he has told me not to move.

Don’t Move Munchkin!

I think that’s it for the day! It’s just one of those days!!