This story started yesterday morning when we woke up at our usual 5am time, all bleary eyed and half asleep trying to block out  the incessant morning gobbling of the turkey.   I wasn’t too sure what was going on…rubbing my eyes wearily,  I recall that we had been watching a Scottish film the night before (The Legend of Barney Thomson with Robert Carlyle which was incidentally based in Glasgow).  This is what happened first thing: Gnome started talking with a broad Scottish accent.  He wasn’t putting it on intentionally either…

I just guffawed at him and said that I needed a wee cup of tea before I could comprehend why he was talking like that.  Gnome exclaimed,

“What do you mean?  I’m just talking normally!!”

After finding some semblance of normality with my Yorkshire tea, it suddenly dawned on me that Gnome and I spend every waking (and un-waking) moment together, with sparse company in-between, and he has got so used to my accent that he has adopted it unconsciously.  It did occur to me that on many occasions, he has been mistaken for a Scot.  I usually pipe up and say defensively, in a strong “can’t mess with me” Scottish accent,

“Hey hang on a minute!!  I’m the Scottish one.”

It makes me laugh when people get awfully confused because I look Chinese (Cantonese) and I come out with such a rough accent. Ha-Ha!!

Anyway, I thought Gnome’s Scottish accent was pretty good and that’s something coming from a Glaswegian.  I then proceeded to challenge him and I said (think of me talking in my usual accent):

“Well, son, you might be able to do Scottish-Glaswegian, but can you do Scottish-Sean Connery-style??!!”

Gnome said,

“Well, I’ll have to watch some GoldFinger with Pussy Galore and practise some James Bond lines….”

He didn’t manage to finish the sentence because all of a sudden there was a tremendous amount of goosie noise coming from behind the house.

We ran outside and saw that all the geese were surrounding a setting goose (May Jones; one of the Jonesy Girls).  This goose had decided to make her nest in some long grass about 15 yards behind our house.  Since we didn’t want to move her (we’ve had failures with kidnapping and re-location) we decided to leave her alone.  Gnome got to her first and then shouted at me to come quickly.

This what we saw. Three cute fluffed up goosies hiding behind mama!

I couldn’t help it and I said amusingly,

“Ooooh….Goosie Galore!!!”

Gnome replied,

“It shertainly sheems sho, Mish Moneypenny!!”

in a mock Sean Connery accent.

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